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#1 2020-Oct-16  04:42:17

DoubleDenial
TBGer
From: :morꟻ
Registered: 2016-Feb-16
Posts: 2,713
Website

apple news ntework

CURRENT TOTAL BALANCE: $2305

help how do i change the name of my news network

welcome to APPLE NEWS NETWORK. you're probably wondering why i have you here and that is a great question. well, when the news cleaning man was cleaning all the news in the universe, i fled to my secret house and began planning the best news network ever. introducing, shef ker- uh, apple news network!!
annlogo.png

be warned that for budget reasons we do not have a website.

rules

1. dont write real earth news
2. write good news
3. no break tbg rules

money

for each issue we spend:
$100 per employee in report
$500 publishing fee
$1 candy

sign up sheet

name:
gender:
age:
experience (why we should hire you):
desired occupation (select any): news man | weather man | advertisement man | comic artist man
other:
write your name on this line to verify that you will not sue in the unlikely event of a horrible, probably news-related accident
___________

employees

name: apple (the cat)
owner: DoubleDenial
gender: cat
age: 102
experience: successful business man
occupation: owner
other: Awesome Best Buy

name: Suesye.
owner: Joyous Theta
gender: F.
age: Yes.
experience: I have many experiments as alpha secretly of Helitman Warks Compass Knee and am the best at funneling your private information back to Helitman to create the ultimate news network and win at Monopoly.
occupation: Advertisements and Helitman proper gander writer.
other: Yes.

name: Fall Guy
owner: IncendiaryGaming
gender: Fall Guy
age: Fall Guy
experience: he's a Fall Guy, great at news reports, used to work for Fall Guys News Network before they ran out of money.
occupation: weather man
other: Fall Guy

name: Carmes
owner: SausageMcSauce
gender: male
age: 26 or something
experience: worked for shef kerbi and owns very big multibillion company, carmes inc
occupation: news man, advertisement man and comic artist man
other:

name: Write man
owner: \//
gender: (write) man
age: man (write)
experience: can write. hasn't experience at write, but has hands which can write.
occupation: advertisement man
other:

name: Byron
owner: Byron_Inc_TBG
gender: Male
age: 22
experience: I wrote the monthly school magazines when I was in high school
desired occupation: news man
other: He loves math

name: squilf
owner: Squirrelflight
gender: f
age: yes
experience: yes i has experienc i can eperience ples hire me appel
occupation: weather man and comic artist man
other: short

Last edited by DoubleDenial (2020-Oct-26  05:24:23)


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"There's no excuse for anything until you come up with it." -me, it doesn't mean anything i just said it
apple news ntework - Candy Sadness - My YouTube - My Muse's Cafe Account rip lol - trotgwyscbtigu

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#2 2020-Oct-16  05:06:53

Joyous Theta
TBGer
From: YES
Registered: 2017-Dec-17
Posts: 2,833

Re: apple news ntework

name: Suesye.
gender: F.
age: Yes.
experience (why we should hire you): I have many experiments as alpha secretly of Helitman Warks Compass Knee and am the best at funneling your private information back to Helitman to create the ultimate news network and win at Monopoly.
desired occupation (select one): news man | weather man | advertisement man
Advertisements and Helitman proper gander writer.
other: Yes.
write your name on this line to verify that you will not sue in the unlikely event of a horrible, probably news-related accident
I am no promises to no sue it's in my mane.

Last edited by Joyous Theta (2020-Oct-16  05:07:44)


Remember, don't shoot food.

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#3 2020-Oct-16  07:09:39

IncendiaryGaming
TBGer
From: Hell™
Registered: 2020-May-16
Posts: 1,012
Website

Re: apple news ntework

name: Fall Guy
gender: Fall Guy
age: Fall Guy
experience (why we should hire you): he's a Fall Guy, great at news reports, used to work for Fall Guys News Network before they ran out of money.
desired occupation (select one): weather man
other: Fall Guy
write your name on this line to verify that you will not sue in the unlikely event of a horrible, probably news-related accident
Fall Guy


This is IncendiaryGaming, I enjoy Gaming, sushi and RPing. There isn't much about me. *insert sounds here*
This signature was sponsored by Fortnite, Minecraft, Among Us, Call of Duty, you know what just about any good video game out there (based on my opinion).
Now leave my house or I yeet your cookies.
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My discord is IncendiaryGaming #5243 and my server is located at https://discord.gg/mqmZ8qk

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#4 2020-Oct-16  09:03:26

DoubleDenial
TBGer
From: :morꟻ
Registered: 2016-Feb-16
Posts: 2,713
Website

Re: apple news ntework

Joyous Theta wrote:

name: Suesye.
gender: F.
age: Yes.
experience (why we should hire you): I have many experiments as alpha secretly of Helitman Warks Compass Knee and am the best at funneling your private information back to Helitman to create the ultimate news network and win at Monopoly.
desired occupation (select one): news man | weather man | advertisement man
Advertisements and Helitman proper gander writer.
other: Yes.
write your name on this line to verify that you will not sue in the unlikely event of a horrible, probably news-related accident
I am no promises to no sue it's in my mane.

seems a little fishy but okay. apple needs all the money he can get from advertisements so welcome to the squad suesye

IncendiaryGaming wrote:

name: Fall Guy
gender: Fall Guy
age: Fall Guy
experience (why we should hire you): he's a Fall Guy, great at news reports, used to work for Fall Guys News Network before they ran out of money.
desired occupation (select one): weather man
other: Fall Guy
write your name on this line to verify that you will not sue in the unlikely event of a horrible, probably news-related accident
Fall Guy

i don't think that's a number but who cares. welcome to the squad fall guy

feel free to write nEWS HOW DO I TURN OFF THE BIG LETTERS

Last edited by DoubleDenial (2020-Oct-16  09:09:54)


ddfriendlogo.gif
"There's no excuse for anything until you come up with it." -me, it doesn't mean anything i just said it
apple news ntework - Candy Sadness - My YouTube - My Muse's Cafe Account rip lol - trotgwyscbtigu

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#5 2020-Oct-16  09:33:59

Joyous Theta
TBGer
From: YES
Registered: 2017-Dec-17
Posts: 2,833

Re: apple news ntework

HI CUTE #1 BY SUESYE
by Suesye

"Whoops oh no," I say,
Did axe dent suing Chairs,
Instead sewn myself.

Last edited by Joyous Theta (2020-Oct-16  09:34:26)


Remember, don't shoot food.

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#6 2020-Oct-16  09:54:28

DoubleDenial
TBGer
From: :morꟻ
Registered: 2016-Feb-16
Posts: 2,713
Website

Re: apple news ntework

Joyous Theta wrote:

HI CUTE #1 BY SUESYE
by Suesye

"Whoops oh no," I say,
Did axe dent suing Chairs,
Instead sewn myself.

yes news

also i have opened up "comic creator" as a job position. go wild

also news

APPLE'S TECHNOLOGY AND DESIGN CORNER: Episode 14

written by Apple the Cat

In today's important news, RDAAEICPI (Random Disposable Automated Assistants Enterprises Incorporated Corporation Publishing Incorporated) has just released a new model of weird robotic gadget thing.

Apple: Time to unbox it! Remember kids, always use the sharpest knife you can find to open packages, to really show that cardboard who's the box. Alright, here we go.
DAN-4: AAAHHH!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME!!
Apple: Crap, looks like I cut the product. Uh, this was all RDAAEICPI's fault! 4/10 too much water.
DAN-4: MY EYE!!
Apple: ...Uh, nothing a band-aid won't fix, I guess. Who cares. I'm sure we can put our differences behind us, for news.
DAN-4: You monster.

In today's unimportant news, Roblox Noob has just been announced as a playable character in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, to the delight of Roblox enthusiasts everywhere, and we've heard claims that Google is a kind of big company.


out and about on the street

written by Apple the Cat

Today, we're going out on the street to see if there are any weak-minded individuals we can easily deceive.

Apple: We're live from Bodder Bolting, let's see if we can totally prank any of these people. Hey random bystander!
Rand Umbice Tanner: Yeah?
Apple: Have you seen a man named Joe around here? He has stolen some guy's bouncy ball or something.
Rand Umbice Tanner: Yes, I have! He went that way!
Apple: Dang it.

Apple: Hey Bear (enemy from Super Mario Land 2: Six Golden Coins). Do you know who Joe is?
Bear (enemy from Super Mario Land 2: Six Golden Coins): Who's John? Is he the guy who took my ball?
Apple: No, his name is Joe.
Bear (enemy from Super Mario Land 2: Six Golden Coins): So Joe took my ball?
Apple: This is hopeless.
Bear (enemy from Super Mario Land 2: Six Golden Coins): I know, that's exactly how I feel!

Apple: Hey Reeling Turt'll, got any wisdom to close this unsuccessful segment for us?
Reeling Turt'll I've appeared in like four of your reports now. When do I get paid?
Apple: Alright, that about wraps it up, looks like this plan has not been successful.
DAN-4: Thanks for that, Apple. It appears that Joe, the perpetrator, has been apprehended.
Apple: Joe? Who's Joe?

Sandwich Building Suffers Shocking Collapse

written by Apple the Cat

The grand opening of the nice sandwich building in the area of the intersection of Broadway and King Street in Burlington has been postponed due to a man getting struck by lightning on top of the unfinished building. Bystanders claim that he was holding a large metal pole and saying something about Zeus. No construction workers were harmed during this, but construction was delayed out of respect for the pole's family.


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"There's no excuse for anything until you come up with it." -me, it doesn't mean anything i just said it
apple news ntework - Candy Sadness - My YouTube - My Muse's Cafe Account rip lol - trotgwyscbtigu

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#7 2020-Oct-16  15:53:27

IncendiaryGaming
TBGer
From: Hell™
Registered: 2020-May-16
Posts: 1,012
Website

Re: apple news ntework

Fall guy's report, translated to English, Mostly:

Fall Guys Championships starting today

The Fall Guys are preparing for the upcoming championships, with 60 competitors from, uhh, idk where. Obviously, only 1 will succeed, but who will? Past performance reports determine every Fall Guy has the same chance of success.

Here is Lenny Lennyson in an interview with Pineapple, a previous victor of 6 championships:

Lenny: Well, as the winner of the past 6 championships, how are you feeling?
Pineapple: (insert fall guys gibberish here)
Lenny: Sounds great, confidence is key. Are there any competitors you feel might hurt your chances of success?
Pineapple: (insert fall guys gibberish here)
Lenny: Haha! Great tactic! How are you feeling about the round selection?
Pineapple: (insert fall guys gibberish here)
Lenny: I’ve always been a fan of slime climb, especially the comical mistakes people make. What's your all-time favourite map?
Pineapple: (insert fall guys gibberish here)
Lenny: Well, thankfully it’s coming up in this competition. That’s all I have for you today, thanks for your time.

Schedule:
Round 1: Gate Crash (60 competitors)
Round 2: Door Dash (43 competitors)
Round 3: Slimb Climb (29 competitors)
Round 4: Tip Toe (if less than 7, skip to next round)
Round 5: Jump Showdown

Meanwhile, the weather: Normal

Last edited by IncendiaryGaming (2020-Oct-19  16:42:37)


This is IncendiaryGaming, I enjoy Gaming, sushi and RPing. There isn't much about me. *insert sounds here*
This signature was sponsored by Fortnite, Minecraft, Among Us, Call of Duty, you know what just about any good video game out there (based on my opinion).
Now leave my house or I yeet your cookies.
74DAF6A5B6CB49CF8C4A.jpeg
My discord is IncendiaryGaming #5243 and my server is located at https://discord.gg/mqmZ8qk

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#8 2020-Oct-16  21:17:32

SausageMcSauce
TBGer
From: a closet stuffed with anime
Registered: 2019-Aug-06
Posts: 3,457
Website

Re: apple news ntework

name: Carmes
gender: male
age: 26 or something
experience: worked for shef kerbi and owns very big multibillion company, carmes inc
occupation: news reporter, advertiser and comic maker

carmes

I also have a question: is this set in Dreem Lend or an entirely different universe? Carmes can travel cross-universe.

If this is set in Dreem Lend, and if I am accepted, here is a news report:

PUMPKIN ARMY DOES THINGS OUTSIDE KEYN DDDD's CASTLE

A pumpkin army definitely not created by Red Computer Labs has been seen around a mile from Keyn DDDD's castle. They have reportedly eaten a cave filled with candy.

Keyn DDDD has yet to comment on this matter.

Last edited by SausageMcSauce (2020-Oct-16  21:26:11)


I might post here less frequently than I used to.

(sig last edited on 30th October 2020 at 15:15 UTC

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#9 2020-Oct-16  22:17:50

DoubleDenial
TBGer
From: :morꟻ
Registered: 2016-Feb-16
Posts: 2,713
Website

Re: apple news ntework

SausageMcSauce wrote:

name: Carmes
gender: male
age: 26 or something
experience: worked for shef kerbi and owns very big multibillion company, carmes inc
occupation: news reporter, advertiser and comic maker

carmes

accepted, though i am suspicious of the fact that you erased the "i will not sue" message

SausageMcSauce wrote:

I also have a question: is this set in Dreem Lend or an entirely different universe?

this is set in dreem lend


ddfriendlogo.gif
"There's no excuse for anything until you come up with it." -me, it doesn't mean anything i just said it
apple news ntework - Candy Sadness - My YouTube - My Muse's Cafe Account rip lol - trotgwyscbtigu

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#10 2020-Oct-17  04:33:18

Joyous Theta
TBGer
From: YES
Registered: 2017-Dec-17
Posts: 2,833

Re: apple news ntework

Woah it is Carmes owner of Red Camp Putters.

I am a question for you Carmes what is the receipt for "Pig Soop" being sure to speak loudly to hear the bugs so they give the ta to Helitman Warks Compass Knee and we made our own "Pig Soop."


Remember, don't shoot food.

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#11 2020-Oct-17  21:02:32

SausageMcSauce
TBGer
From: a closet stuffed with anime
Registered: 2019-Aug-06
Posts: 3,457
Website

Re: apple news ntework

Joyous Theta wrote:

Woah it is Carmes owner of Red Camp Putters.

I am a question for you Carmes what is the receipt for "Pig Soop" being sure to speak loudly to hear the bugs so they give the ta to Helitman Warks Compass Knee and we made our own "Pig Soop."

(Carmes sues Helitman Warks Compass Knee for copyright infringement).

Also, the Carmes Inc's pig soop ad can be the first ad to go in the news report.

And more news:

FALL GUYS UNIVERSE PORTAL ADDED TO PORTAL MUSUEUM

A portal to the Fall Guys universe was added to the Portal museum.

One of our reporters come from this universe and is reporting news about it.

Last edited by SausageMcSauce (2020-Oct-18  02:16:33)


I might post here less frequently than I used to.

(sig last edited on 30th October 2020 at 15:15 UTC

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#12 2020-Oct-19  16:24:39

\\/\/
TBGer
From: EST
Registered: 2016-Dec-04
Posts: 6,795

Re: apple news ntework

name: Write man
gender: (write) man
age: man (write)
experience (why we should hire you): can write. hasn't experience at write, but has hands which can write.
desired occupation (select any): (write) advertisement man
other:
write your name on this line to verify that you will not sue in the unlikely event of a horrible, probably news-related accident
_write man_

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#13 2020-Oct-20  00:32:43

DoubleDenial
TBGer
From: :morꟻ
Registered: 2016-Feb-16
Posts: 2,713
Website

Re: apple news ntework

\// wrote:

name: Write man
gender: (write) man
age: man (write)
experience (why we should hire you): can write. hasn't experience at write, but has hands which can write.
desired occupation (select any): (write) advertisement man
other:
write your name on this line to verify that you will not sue in the unlikely event of a horrible, probably news-related accident
_write man_

really not a fan of people writing pretty much the same thing in every form since it makes it unlikely for you to have a good character and it's a really overused gimmick but welcome aboard.

Last edited by DoubleDenial (2020-Oct-20  00:43:52)


ddfriendlogo.gif
"There's no excuse for anything until you come up with it." -me, it doesn't mean anything i just said it
apple news ntework - Candy Sadness - My YouTube - My Muse's Cafe Account rip lol - trotgwyscbtigu

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#14 2020-Oct-20  00:41:36

\\/\/
TBGer
From: EST
Registered: 2016-Dec-04
Posts: 6,795

Re: apple news ntework

DoubleDenial wrote:
\// wrote:

name: Write man
gender: (write) man
age: man (write)
experience (why we should hire you): can write. hasn't experience at write, but has hands which can write.
desired occupation (select any): (write) advertisement man
other:
write your name on this line to verify that you will not sue in the unlikely event of a horrible, probably news-related accident
_write man_

really not a fan of people writing pretty much the same thing in every form since it makes it unlikely for you to have a good character and it's a really overused gimmick but welcome aboard

Sorry I was just trying to go with the flow I don't fully understand how this rp works. I'm going to make a better character, disregard this one.

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#15 2020-Oct-20  00:43:24

DoubleDenial
TBGer
From: :morꟻ
Registered: 2016-Feb-16
Posts: 2,713
Website

Re: apple news ntework

\// wrote:

Sorry I was just trying to go with the flow I don't fully understand how this rp works. I'm going to make a better character, disregard this one.

i mean there's not that many rules. if you want to change your application feel free to do that


ddfriendlogo.gif
"There's no excuse for anything until you come up with it." -me, it doesn't mean anything i just said it
apple news ntework - Candy Sadness - My YouTube - My Muse's Cafe Account rip lol - trotgwyscbtigu

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#16 2020-Oct-20  01:45:18

Squirrelflight
TBGer
From: Morioh-cho
Registered: 2018-May-24
Posts: 2,763
Website

Re: apple news ntework

name: squilf
gender: f
age: yes
experience (why we should hire you): yes i has experienc i can eperience ples hire me appel
desired occupation (select any): man harnessing the powers of both weather man and comic artist man
other: short
write your name on this line to verify that you will not sue in the unlikely event of a horrible, probably news-related accident
no


435908137_9000x7200.png

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#17 2020-Oct-20  02:00:35

Byron_Inc_TBG
TBGer
From: Not in US.
Registered: 2020-Jul-29
Posts: 4,967

Re: apple news ntework

Name: Byron
Gender: Male
Age: 22
experience (why we should hire you): I wrote the monthly school magazines when I was in high school
desired occupation (select any): News man (Or whatever that writes news)
other: He loves math
write your name on this line to verify that you will not sue in the unlikely event of a horrible, probably news-related accident
    Byron   


Contact me on my Scratch profile! @Byron_Inc
Oh look, I am now legitimately the top 50 posters.
Generation 1: Paste this in your signature and let's see how far can this be!

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#18 2020-Oct-20  02:40:53

DoubleDenial
TBGer
From: :morꟻ
Registered: 2016-Feb-16
Posts: 2,713
Website

Re: apple news ntework

Squirrelflight wrote:

write your name on this line to verify that you will not sue in the unlikely event of a horrible, probably news-related accident
no

unacceptable

Byron_Inc_TBG wrote:

signup

acceptance


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"There's no excuse for anything until you come up with it." -me, it doesn't mean anything i just said it
apple news ntework - Candy Sadness - My YouTube - My Muse's Cafe Account rip lol - trotgwyscbtigu

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#19 2020-Oct-20  03:20:20

Squirrelflight
TBGer
From: Morioh-cho
Registered: 2018-May-24
Posts: 2,763
Website

Re: apple news ntework

ok fine i sign >:C

squilf


435908137_9000x7200.png

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#20 2020-Oct-20  03:48:17

DoubleDenial
TBGer
From: :morꟻ
Registered: 2016-Feb-16
Posts: 2,713
Website

Re: apple news ntework

Squirrelflight wrote:

name: squilf
gender: f
age: yes
experience (why we should hire you): yes i has experienc i can eperience ples hire me appel
desired occupation (select any): man harnessing the powers of both weather man and comic artist man
other: short
write your name on this line to verify that you will not sue in the unlikely event of a horrible, probably news-related accident
squilf

welcome to the cult squad

i'm planning on releasing the next bulletin tomorrow so if anyone wants something to be in the first bulletin then that's your deadline


ddfriendlogo.gif
"There's no excuse for anything until you come up with it." -me, it doesn't mean anything i just said it
apple news ntework - Candy Sadness - My YouTube - My Muse's Cafe Account rip lol - trotgwyscbtigu

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#21 2020-Oct-20  12:35:32

Byron_Inc_TBG
TBGer
From: Not in US.
Registered: 2020-Jul-29
Posts: 4,967

Re: apple news ntework

White Is Scientifically Proven Psychic

After we had our election in Year 3497, Jeffrey White from Daniel Denial had been elected to run for president. In these years, White had made a lot of crazy rules, said a lot of sentences that don't make sense, and almost commit a murder. However, as the president, his words get supported by his fans. Scientists had proven that White is a psycho.

According to Scientist Tim Derp, White's crazy action is considered as the brianchlofjophoezach, which is "brain unreadable syndrome" in Fretin. This syndrome is likely caused by being too wild during childhood, or not remembering one's breakfast of any day. This syndrome has no cure. As of writing, there are 528 people who had this syndrome, and 498 of them were kept in solitary, as the syndrome is transmittable, and also the 500 patients might hurt other people.

"Originally, all 500 people were kept in solitary. Now White and another person fled the island and transmitted it to 28 people. We're trying to capture them back to solitary, which is on an island that we can't tell anyone," Derp said.

White's fans are not convinced about it. They thought it was a set-up by the other party, Americans United, to chase White out of the White House. "This is all a ruse. A plant. Americans United made all these up! I will die for this man!" One of the fans, Mark Razor, claimed.

The other minor parties, who actually cared about the people, decided to team up to form a big party to save the people from White. "Jeffrey White is a menace to American society. We have to save the people from him," said Aaron Plateau, "We're suggesting it to be called Minors Revenged".


Contact me on my Scratch profile! @Byron_Inc
Oh look, I am now legitimately the top 50 posters.
Generation 1: Paste this in your signature and let's see how far can this be!

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#22 2020-Oct-20  19:33:48

SausageMcSauce
TBGer
From: a closet stuffed with anime
Registered: 2019-Aug-06
Posts: 3,457
Website

Re: apple news ntework

why is carmes not listed as an employee

and heres more news

CARMES INC ANNOUNCES OFFICE IN EARTH

Carmes Inc will soon become the first company from Dreem Lend to have an office on Earth. Two have been planned to be built, one in the 'United States of America' (which Donald Spokeperson is aware of and somehow wants a wall built around it) and the United Kingdom.

Last edited by SausageMcSauce (2020-Oct-20  23:37:59)


I might post here less frequently than I used to.

(sig last edited on 30th October 2020 at 15:15 UTC

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#23 2020-Oct-22  11:08:46

DoubleDenial
TBGer
From: :morꟻ
Registered: 2016-Feb-16
Posts: 2,713
Website

Re: apple news ntework

SausageMcSauce wrote:

why is carmes not listed as an employee

thank you for pointing this out. in our very professional system mistakes occasionally occur


ddfriendlogo.gif
"There's no excuse for anything until you come up with it." -me, it doesn't mean anything i just said it
apple news ntework - Candy Sadness - My YouTube - My Muse's Cafe Account rip lol - trotgwyscbtigu

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#24 2020-Oct-23  20:41:17

SausageMcSauce
TBGer
From: a closet stuffed with anime
Registered: 2019-Aug-06
Posts: 3,457
Website

Re: apple news ntework

Carmes is planning to make a mirror of all Apple News Network issues on the Carmes Inc website because ANN does not have its own website yet.


I might post here less frequently than I used to.

(sig last edited on 30th October 2020 at 15:15 UTC

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#25 2020-Oct-24  02:42:26

Byron_Inc_TBG
TBGer
From: Not in US.
Registered: 2020-Jul-29
Posts: 4,967

Re: apple news ntework

Byron walks to Carmes. "Hey, what are you doing?"


Contact me on my Scratch profile! @Byron_Inc
Oh look, I am now legitimately the top 50 posters.
Generation 1: Paste this in your signature and let's see how far can this be!

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