TBG Forums

The wrong helpdesk! is a game where you answer the wrong method of fixing a computer issue and then ask for advice on a computer issue
example:
user1:
 My files are randomly being deleted on the first of every month! Any advice?
user2:
 The files are being moved to system32, press Ctrl+A, Ctrl+X and copy them over to the documents folder.
 My 86box cyrix 700 setup is so crackly with audio! How do I uncrackle the audio?
user3:
 Lower speeds run worse, try setting the speed to 733
 How do I take toolbars out of the taskbar on windows 7? I remember being able to just drag them out of the taskbar on xp and in vista I could drag a folder on the desktop to the edge of the screen to do it.
we start from user3's post

Try using task manager to end some of the processes.

This Pentium 2 system I just picked up is having issues running Age of Empires, sometimes it freezes up for a few seconds or it only lets me pan around. I see the clock speed dipping in Task Manager but I know my cooling is fine, is there a way to fix this?

remove your heatsink and it might run a bit better

I installed service pack 4 in windows 2000 on my 486 and now it won't boot, how do I fix that?

You need to use [c]match[/c] to destructure the [c]Option[/c] enum. Alternatively, you can add [c]?[/c] to the end of the variable

I've opened an unknown application (probably a virus) and it shows a dialog box saying "COMPUTER HAS KEKE". Should I click "COMPUTER IS SAFE" or "COMPUTER IS WEAK"?

if your cpu is under 800mhz, click "computer is weak" and unplug every usb device (plug in ps/2 devices for the keyboard and mosue), otherwise click "computer is safe" and switch to a 1280x800 resolution

my 386 says "NO ROM BASIC" after installing some software via floppy disks, how do I fix it?

Put your hard drive in a modern computer, then try again.

My computer's screen is showing a glitched sock puppet, and the speakers are saying "PLEASE FIND OR CRAFT A HAIR DRYER IMMEDIATELY." What do I do?

double-check you've locked the launcher items on your panels. sometimes they move around by themselves.

i tried to make my windows 3.11 computer a web server, and now it's playing 'welcome to the internet' at max volume. what do i do?

open the url twice at the same time, that will make it quieter

whenever I try playing Minecraft anywhere other than an old laptop that destroys chargers in a few months, it just crashes. is there anything that could make it run on my other computer?

install a fortran compiler, and recompile the game.

my tablet turns off every time i rotate it.

Hit it with a hammer

My laptop wont turn back on when i close the lid

you need to pour gasoline into your laptop's "gasoline slot", usually this is located near the cpu or gpu, but sometimes it's in the battery.

whenever I insert a dvd, the dvd drive ejects it. can you fix this? I've even tried plugging my headphones into the dvd drive

Try putting the disc in the disc drive, if all else fails, mahogany

My computer wont let me post lennys:  ͡( ͡° ͜)ʖ°
See!

You'll need to overclock your GPU. Install some OC software from totallynotarsonists.net (that may or may not be a website)

My PS5 won't run Linux, help plz

Load a DVD with a virus that, when loaded into your PS5, will format its operating system and installs Linux. The rest should be obvious.

My computer crashed unexpectedly. When I debugged the crash, the only information about the crash that I could find was a parameter value, which was "WAITWASALEXBASEDOFFOFJENS". What does that mean?

It means you accidentally pressed Fn + Scroll Lock + Pause/Break, which causes the Minecraft launcher to open 65535 instances of Minecraft... when you run out of ram, it changed the crash message for that

whenever I mod Minecraft with Aether, SinglePlayerCommands AND TooManyItems, it just gives a blank black screen... how do I fix it? I deleted META-INF and it's still doing this

Open up the Steam workshop, and check your Subscribed Items. Remove everything, and restart your computer. Start up Fortnite again. You should now have free vbucks.

Help, I've been unable to open the Start Menu, Settings or any browser for 4 days, I found a temporary workaround but it takes ages, can someone help?

Try reinstalling KDE.

I want to fix my broken install, but Bash is broken and apt needs it. How can I fix it?

plug in the rrd2 and run "destroy('{objectnamegoeshere}')".

i can't uninstall chrome! every time i try to, it throws a message saying "You cannot escape me."

Press and hold the- *pauses to respond to CST* -Escape key, Refresh key & power button. When Chrome throws an error, press and hold Ctrl-D. Once your device tells you that OS verification is off, press Ctrl-D again. Chrome has now been flushed down the toilet for good, and it has now been replaced with Linux.

How come I can open the door to the infinite staircase when I have ~70 stars?

because a certain blue thing-no, not you, the OTHER blue thing-somehow learned how to open doors and flip switches, therefore somehow disabling the infinite warp gateway, causing the staircase to implode ~70 times, be replaced ~-70 times, and finally become alive.

i want to snap my taskbar to the top of the screen like mate's default config. how do i do that on window$?

Here's a non-technological answer: just put a sticky note or something to cover your camera. There, problem solved.

The text vectorizer on my natural language processor isn't working right, how can I fix them?

use anything other than the default keyboard.

the notification access icon keeps appearing in my status bar, even when no apps are open and on the regular launcher. how to fix?

Try restarting fontdrvhost.exe. Note that you will lose the ability to see text in the process.

My computer is stuck in this magenta screen for 10 minutes since boot. Help?

> SuperKamekArea wrote:

> remove your heatsink and it might run a bit better

I installed service pack 4 in windows 2000 on my 486 and now it won't boot, how do I fix that?

Hackintosh

My iPad mini 3 can't run cod modern warfare ii, how do I fix this?

assert your dominance by putting a candle in front air freshener blower-thingy to make a tiny flamethrower.

my chromebook gets stuck at the bootscreen with '11111111' in the corner. how to fix?