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"It's a CYOA!"

You are a person. You're at your house, you're bored, and you want to have fun.

Give yourself a name.

If you don't give yourself a name your name will be Coffee °°° McJenkins until you unlock a name change.

Byron went to a nearby bookstore to get a book.

Quote from: Byron_Inc_TBGByron went to a nearby bookstore to get a book.

Byron, our character's new name, heads to the bookstore. The clerk greets him warmly.

"Greetings! What can I help you with today?"

"Do you have a Math book here?"

Quote from: Byron_Inc_TBG"Do you have a Math book here?"

"Of course! We have plenty of math books, in Aisle 192."

Byron walked to Aisle 192 and looked at the books.

"My-a name is Luigi and I'mma jump on your head."

Ah yes, of course Byron takes the opportunity to claim the name Byron.
How original and consistent.

Byron picks up the book titled "Math 101" and takes a look at a couple pages.

Quote from: Byron_Inc_TBGByron walked to Aisle 192 and looked at the books.

There's a ridiculous amount of books here, covering stuff from the most simple of mathematical concepts to 6-dimensional hypermultiversal manipulation of higher order numbers.

...that last one sounds a bit complicated, and you're not even sure it's a real subject, but you can look at a book on it nonetheless.

Quote from: Joyous Theta"My-a name is Luigi and I'mma jump on your head."

You utter the words to no one in particular, but nothing happens.

Quote from: IncendiaryGamingAh yes, of course Byron takes the opportunity to claim the name Byron.
How original and consistent.

Byron picks up the book titled "Math 101" and takes a look at a couple pages.

Byron flips through the first couple of pages.

Mathematics is a very interesting subject. With mathematics, you can do many powerful things, such as manipulate large quantities or even - some say - the universe itself. There are proponents who claim that at its core, the universe simply revolves around mathematics.

But of course, discussion of the subject would be jumping before we can even crawl.

Most books would start with College Algebra, but we will instead start with a more philosophical question.

What is Mathematics?

The book continues further, with some rather detailed explanations of the basics of mathematics.

Use mathematics too manipulate the universe itself.

Quote from: FishmaelUse mathematics too manipulate the universe itself.

You attempt to use your knowledge of mathematics to manipulate the universe, but unfortunately, you don't know enough. You can do some nice stuff, like calculating the slope of a curve or finding the first derivative of a polynomial, but nothing exactly universe-changing.

Byron leaves the bookstore and heads to the café.

Luigi jumps on Tymewalk's head and pulls out an m88. "Watch-a out," he says, "I'mma Luigi except with a gun!"

Byron slapped Luigi. "What are you doing to him?"

Luigi falls to the floor and dies.

Byron, feeling responsible, cradles Luigi in his arms. "No, wait, don't go! Not like this. Not like this!" He attempts to bring Luigi back using math.

Luigi rises up in a holy light and comes back to life, only to say "Your-a math needs some work. Have you-a tried getting a tutor?" before passing away again.

Luigi has died.

Info-Sheet

Section 71. Confirmed Dead Characters
Luigi

Byron is now in the café.

The barista greets him. "Hello sir! What can I get for you today? Would you like to see our specials?"

"Sure!"

Byron looks at section 73 of the Info-Sheet.

Quote from: Byron_Inc_TBG"Sure!"

Absolutely!

Today's Specials

Flaming-Hot Flamethrower Mocha
Battle Cappuccino of the Soul
Steam-Powered Espresso (WINTER SALE)
"Iced" "Tea"
Four Hundred Ms in a Large Cup
Nothing™
Something?™
Everything [Out of stock.]

Quote from: FishmaelByron looks at section 73 of the Info-Sheet.

Byron checks what he can see on Section 73...

Info Sheet

Section 73. Donuts Collected
(none)

Byron orders Nothing and Something and tries to mix them.

Quote from: FishmaelByron orders Nothing and Something and tries to mix them.

"Here you go!"

Byron is handed one cup of nothing and one cup of eggnog ice cream.

He mixes them successfully into eggnog ice cream, but in a different cup.

Byron ate the food.

Byron asks the barista for a donut.