Bad Assistant

[Alex The JPEG]

Just post something that you would say to a voice assistant (such as Siri or Cortana).
The next person will post something that meets at least one of these requirements:

-does not relate (but make it sound like it was misheard)
-bad recommendations
-bad response

So you cannot be reliable here.

You also cannot say "I'm sorry, I didn't get that."
Here's an example:

"Tell me a joke."

a joke.
"What is the current population of the United States?"

At least one person.
"How many milligrams of calcium does a pint of milk have?"

Searching for "germinating serpent"
...

Begin!

"Why are firetrucks red?"

[Siverko]

Lo siento. No hablo inglés.

When did I wake up today?

[Karanrimé]

I woke up at 6:35 Am Eastern time.

How are you?

[Siverko]

Who is "You"?

As the President, how do I declare war on the USSR?

[Seanbobe]

The authorities have been notified of your coordinates.

OK google.

[Siverko]

"My name is not Google".

Stanley Cup Finals.

[joefarebrother]

Stan Lee won!

Search my music library for "Never gonna give you up"

[savaka]

http://www.bing.com/search?q=my+music+library+4+never+gonna+give+you+up

What's my name?

[jirachi]

https://www.google.com/?ion=1&espv=2#q=name

why is the sky blue?

[PrincessPandaTBG]

Everyone hails Sonic.

Here's the answer: (answer)

What's your favorite Sonic character?

[Siverko]

I like the Grilled Chicken Sandwich. (not really, this is a bad answer)

Where am I?

[Alex The JPEG]

Pinpointing location...
You are at the observable universe

"How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"

[Xenon]

Wood energy.

How to become a banned TBG admin?

[joefarebrother]

Posting list of all known swear words to every open topic on tbgforums.com... Done!

What's 0/0?

[Dino]

Searching the web for "What's 0/0?" Here's what I found.

Who are you?

[Xenon]

Searching you...

How to ban someone on TBGs?

[Siverko]

Place them in a can. You canned them.

What's nine plus ten?

[savaka]

false

Howdy! I'm FLOWEY! FLOWEY the FLOWER!

[Xenon]

Searching "Scratch"...

How much energy are used?

[savaka]

15163.8

I'm sorry, I didn't get that. (me saying that not the assistant so it's ok)

[Xenon]

Searching "Bad Assistant"...

Search my music

[Siverko]

Google search: "my music".

Can I throw you against a wall?

[PrincessPandaTBG]

No, there's no wall.

Is Sonic Illuminati?

[Tymewalk]

"Maybe."

Oh Magic Conch, what should we do to get out of the Kelp Forest?

[Siverko]

"I'm sorry. I don't speak English."

324 millimeters + 9 and 5/18 inches.