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A country road. A tree.

Evening.

Estragon, sitting on a low mound, is trying to take off his boot. He pulls at it with both hands, panting.

He gives up, exhausted, rests, tries again.

As before.

Enter Vladimir (you).

ESTRAGON: (giving up again) Nothing to be done.


(P.S. Address Estragon as "Gogo". Remember that all encountered characters are wearing bowler hats.)

I pull out a gun and shoot Gogo.

Quote from: CrazeePiI pull out a gun and shoot Gogo.

Vladimir suddenly takes a turnip out of his pocket; points it at Estragon menacingly. Estragon is shocked, then confused.

ESTRAGON: Didi, why are you holding a turnip at me?

VLADIMIR: Oh, sorry; I could have sworn I was holding a gun.

ESTRAGON: No matter. Just please help me get off this boot.

Estragon continues struggling with the endeavor of trying to remove his boot.

Estragon coughs, bumpily.

I flip open my turnip to unveil my SECRET TURNIP GUN, then blast Gogo with it.

Quote from: CrazeePiI flip open my turnip to unveil my SECRET TURNIP GUN, then blast Gogo with it.

Vladimir struggles to take the top of the turnip off, brandishes it again, looks at it confusedly.

Estragon stops with his boot, looks up at Vladimir concerningly.

Beat.

ESTRAGON: Didi, are your eyes going? That is a turnip!

VLADIMIR: Pardon, Gogo. I've been feeling strangely out of control recently.

ESTRAGON: I suppose it is all the same then. Beat. Have you read the Bible?

"Oh yes, I have. Infact, I have my bible with me at this very moment."

I attempt to pull out my bible from nowhere, only to pull out a goose egg instead.

"Hmm, that's not it..." I say, before setting the egg down.

I continue to pull random objects from nowhere and set them down, including a bundle of leeks, a fancy plate, and a bottle of ketchup.

"No, no, no," I say as I pull each object out, "I seem to be displacing a lot of things lately, terribly sorry."

I pull out a live goose. The goose has a bowler hat. I set the goose down and it runs away.

Finally, I manage to pull out my bible. "Ah, here it is," I say, before opening it to the first page to reveal a gun shaped hole in the pages containing a gun. I pull out the gun and shoot Gogo with it.

Quote from: CrazeePi"Oh yes, I have. Infact, I have my bible with me at this very moment."

I attempt to pull out my bible from nowhere, only to pull out a goose egg instead.

"Hmm, that's not it..." I say, before setting the egg down.

I continue to pull random objects from nowhere and set them down, including a bundle of leeks, a fancy plate, and a bottle of ketchup.

"No, no, no," I say as I pull each object out, "I seem to be displacing a lot of things lately, terribly sorry."

I pull out a live goose. The goose has a bowler hat. I set the goose down and it runs away.

Finally, I manage to pull out my bible. "Ah, here it is," I say, before opening it to the first page.

Vladimir, after having performed the above actions, pulls a turnip out from his Bible; holds it at Estragon as before.

ESTRAGON: (ignoring this) Hmm. I was going to say something about the Bible; I forget it now.

Enter Lucky, followed by Pozzo.

Lucky is carrying a suitcase, a stool, a picnic basket, and a coat. He is tied to an incredibly long rope which Pozzo is carrying.

POZZO: Halt! (Lucky halts.) Stool! (Lucky puts the stool down in the middle of the stage. Pozzo sits.) Basket! (Lucky provides basket; goes to corner of stage.)

ESTRAGON: I feel like there's some sort of a bump in my boot and that's why I can't put it on.