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After six months of use, abuse, and neglect, my old creations have fallen apart. My fort is a pile of broken bricks, and my old creations like the Incendiary BB cannon and my sleigh have rusted out and broken to pieces. All of the guns I once used are now locked up and prone to exploding when they do fire, which is about one out of every twenty rounds. It's time to start anew.

I lay still in one of the ventilation pipes, surveying the madness below me. I contemplate going back to war.

I go into the bakery and eat a donut.

I toss lit matches into the deep fryers so you can't do that anymore.

Call me Chaotic Evil.

I glue my mouth shut.

I immediately throw you into the flaming deep fryer because I've consumed all of the patience I've alotted for the next 24 hours.

After around like 5 years of being cryogenically frozen, I thaw from the ice cream freezer and wake up.

I ask you if you want to warm up by standing next to the flaming deep fryer that contains Seanbobe's flaming corpse.

Meanwhile, I steal a TV and try to get some semblance of "TV reception" inside the Walmart to give me something to do while waiting for Discord to fix itself.

I refuse the offer, questioning your sanity.

You are right to question my sanity, as I immediately attempt to stab you through the heart with the oversized Yagi antenna I was able to barely pick up some local stations with.

I throw a cricket ball straight at FMV's face, before running away back to the sports section.

I run off and hide in the food court.

@DaEpikDude: I empty out a bottle of Coke, heat it over the flaming deep fryer to prevent it from shattering because of thermal shock, put the oil in the bottle, find you, and throw the bottle at you like it's a Molotov cocktail.

I then run down to the food court to find Sheenboy95, oversized antenna in hand.

I eat a chocolate chip cookie.

I find a knife in the kitchen.

I hit the bottle away with my bat which doesn't break it somehow.

I go to the food court and peacefully order some lunch as a break from all this chaos that's been going on around me.

In a rage, I throw the bottle in a random direction, resulting in the damage of the batteries display.

I then calm down enough to grab some food and eat with DaEpikDude.

for some reason, i also find a shotgun in the kitchen. I hear chattering outside. I wait till the moment to strike, then i fire at FMV and Epik.

The shotgun blast seems to not have fazed me. I slowly turn my head towards you, with a psychopath demon killer face, some morphine (potent opioid, usable as painkiller) I stole from the pharmacy in one hand, and the antenna in another, making a creepy growling noise. I shake intensely, and a found shotgun isn't exactly guaranteed to be reliable.

What do you do?

I eat a cupcake.

I impale the cupcake with my antenna and take it away from you, and then I throw it into the flaming deep fryer.

I then dip the antenna into the flaming oil, and use the flame to cauterize my wounds so I don't bleed out.

If video games have taught us anything, it's that food heals anything that's wrong with you.
I finish eating which miraculously gets rid of the shotgun pellets.

Anyway I throw a cricket ball at SheenBoy95.

I get confused at how the bakery is near the fryer, and then grab another cupcake and run away.

In anger, I bash realicraft over the head with the antenna.

I wake up and remember that I'm wearing medieval armor on a skateboard while brandishing a Nerf gun.

I drop the Nerf gun, head to the vinyl aisle, and put on some of this.

Quote from: FlowermanvistaIn anger, I bash realicraft over the head with the antenna.

1d20 = 13
Success! The antenna is not the best weapon, though.
Damage: 1d6 = 5 - 1 (bad weapon) + 0 (user attack) - 0 (enemy defense) = 4 damage.
You deal 4 damage to reali.
Reali: 6/10
Reali eats a cupcake and heals 5 hp.
Reali: 10/10