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I also casually walk to the front of the sidewalk but with a sign saying, "I was saving the world, i swear"

If anyone asks, it was Pi.

I hold a sign saying 'I tried to call you'.

I begin my new life as a chemist who saves the princess for cookies in the parallel realm.

I hold a sign saying "I am a chaos entity" while simultaneously breaking everyone's kneecaps

An extremely deep, "WAHOO" is heard across the globe. Standing in front of everyone, larger than the Earth itself, is none other than Mario himself. The button, as it turns out, was connected to a Mario Summoning Device. Mario stares lifelessly at the denizens of the Earth and with the jolliest of voices he says, "GAME OVER." Suddenly, Mario leaps hundreds of light years into the air, and lands back down with a great big THUD! Under his shoes the Earth is destroyed, all life there was is now no more, Mario earns 200 score.

And there but for the grace of God go you or I.

Mom sends a text message.
I'm coming home in five minutes.
Good news for you guys: 10 extra posts starting now (cuz it's late and I can't check every single one lol)

Mom died and so did the rest of the world though.

There's no home anymore, Mario stomped on it.

Quote from: CrazeePiMom died and so did the rest of the world though.

There's no home anymore, Mario stomped on it.

Silly, mothers are stronger than the end of the world, I thought everyone knew that.

My nonexistent self weeds the nonexistent garden (5/7).

No the "mom" character died to an arrow, not the world getting destroyed.

A nonexistant guy appears and starts undoing your progress, trapping it at 5/7 forever.

I nonexistently slap the nonexistent guy and force the counter to increase to 5.999999999999 repeating / 7.

I continue living a new life of puzzles and cookies in the parallel dimension, blissfully unaware of the chaos that just ensued on Earth.

The nonexistant guy traps it at 4.99999999 repeating / 7.

Also I become the cool dude space captain of a cool dude space pirate crew and we live our lives busting into space banks and space stealing space money.

I go into MomHasLeftTheHouse2.sav and set the statuses of all chores to 'DONE'.

Quote from: CrazeePiMom died and so did the rest of the world though.

There's no home anymore, Mario stomped on it.

Not quite.

Seems like the house is trapped in this invisible barrier that separates it from real reality, time, and space.

You get banned for cheating, and all the statuses are set to NOT DONE again.

Unfortunately during this process the invisible barrier gets deleted along with all backups. Everything that was within the barrier gets updated to match reality, and thus, is destroyed.

I un-ban myself, set the statuses, and lock the file, preventing you from editing it.

I sneakily replace the 4.9999999 repeating in the counter with a 7 so the guy doesn't notice. The garden miraculously becomes weeded.

I point out that actually the garden is watered so that should be DONE.
Not that there is a garden, of course, but if there was one it would be watered.

I'm not the one editing it but ok.

Also DaEpikDude that would just mean it's constantly switching between 6 and 7, probably trapped at 6 actually but I'm not sure.

AND TIME.

Due to TBG/Forumtopia Logic, everything is reset tooooo....
uh...
Something.

BUT.
Mom still comes home to the mess.
She reveals the camera footage, and awards DaEpikDude, Smiley100P, and Realicraft with lots of stuff for doing a good job, even though only one of the tasks were complete.

She does nothing to Jayfeather but gives him a disappointed stare.

The TBG Moderators also come and arrest the following people:
[list=*]
[li]Seanbobe - Aggressive behaviour, and attempted murder with a lawnmower.[/li]
[li]findanegg - Arson and suspicion of possession of an unsafe object.[/li]
[li]CrazeePi - Attempting to break the universe.[/li]
[/list]
They will be sent to the TBG and Forumtopia Community Jail for an indefinite period of time.
That is to say...  Life will have to go on in a different topic.

to be continued.........