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Name: Ted Pratico
Gender: Male
Age: 15
Past Experience: Used to draw comics in elementary school and was at a public speaking club at one point
Occupation: News reporter & cartoonist
[He agrees] Fill in this box to agree to the 46 pages of terms and conditions that Shef Kerbi himself wrote

bon starbuckle awakes from his nap. he looks around. the shef kerbi offices have been long abandoned. in what used to be the break room a robocop is fighting a terminator. at least three different things are on fire right now.
bon takes a laser gun from the corpse of a dead cyber urchin and tries to break up the fight. the robocop tells him a naughty word. bon shoots the robocop and then the terminator.
bon steps out of the abandoned building with his cyber urchin laser gun. it is the year 2085. everything is on fire.

no it's 2240
no it's 3415
how can you still be living
what does this mean

oh wait it's actually just 2019 and i was messing with the green screen

i thought it was 20XX
there are enough fox mains for that to be possible

Here's a comic

EVENT:
EMERGENCY NOTICE: MISTIUS BIRB DINERBLADE HAS BEEN FOUND IN DREEM LEND TERRITORY

Around midday on March 26, Mistius Birb Dinerblade was found crossing into Dreem Lend's borders. The birb, reported to be around 8 km (5 miles) in length is arriving onto the Great Mountain to lay her eggs. During this event, we are expecting unpredictable high winds of up to 200 km/h (125 mph). If you see Mistius Birb Dinerblade anywhere, stay indoors and go to the smallest room in your house. Mistius Birb Dinerblade is expected to leave Dreem Lend between April 2-5.

Old reports from Dreem Lend have stated that Mistius Birb Dinerblade also came to Dreem Lend in March 1919, in 1819 and around 1720, so we believe that this is a one in a century event.

This is gonna be a big week for SKNN. Hopefully we can get #21 and maybe even #22 out during this week. also shef kerbi is back lol

also welcome to news gang ted pratico

bon gets out his birdwatching gear

BREAKING NEWS

Keyn DDDD, glorious keyn of whatever this place is called, has declared that he's "starvin' over here," and "that there Dinerblade is going to be my dinner!"

He was later seen loading shoptsoses with local giant snail "Eskergom" and cannon balls.

In other news, CrazeePi has yet to stop being lazy.

Ok so weather i guess,,,


So today's going to be a top of 17 and a low of 12, but there are also going to be pretty strong winds so it'll feel more like 7-ish
might have something to do with that birb that came along

Tomorrow's windy, chilly, AND stormy, what fun!
Max 15, min 11

The sknn website will broadcast a live feed of the event I guess

Quote from: CatsUnitedalso welcome to news gang ted pratico

what about somari

Quote from: the2000

Quote from: CatsUnitedalso welcome to news gang ted pratico

what about somari

ok then, ok

BREAKING NEWS

Birb lovers begin a protest against Keyn DDDD for wanting to shoot Dinerblade out of the sky. Local authorities side with the birb lovers and tell Keyn DDDD to dismantle the shoptsoses. "Wait, shouldn't I be the local authority?" questions Keyn DDDD.

In other news, local giant snail "Eskergom" is stranded on the Great Mountain. Please somebody bring him back, we miss him.

BREAKING JONH GAMEMAN SPECAL REPORT (plese do not break john gameman)

big bird thing is angery now and is makking hurricans weird clown guy told everyone its because the bird is eveils and has always been evils so hes offer to shoot the evil bird downs which is a good idea except its not because he did not let jogn gameman shoot bird because john gameman is "not responsabel" john gameman is responsebel john gameman is porfessional game and man man but also professonal call of duty player john gameman is so good that john gameman mom make john gameman not play call of duty and put money in "good at call of duty" jar why would clown not recognize john gameman shooting skill? do not support clown! clown needs to support john gameman shooting skill! clown's giant omlet may be cool but they are also clearly trolling john gameman so do not support!!!!

i miss call of duty...

bon has come back from his birdwatching adventure and taken a picture of the Big Bird™

wait... is it looking at the camera?

oH NOES

oof

By the way we just gave Tom Nook a sponsorship for something. Keep an eye on my profile tomorrow

bon flicks a switch on his binoculars and they turn into a military grade sniper rifle. he is now Bon Starbuckle: Big Bird Hunter Type-Deal Person

bump

NSEW THAT IS BROKEN
Recently, the official SKNN thread on the number one forumchat, Text Based gChat, has been, get this, BUMPED.
The entirety of the work team* has been working 24/7** to find the cause and get the person that did it thrown in bad boy timeout.***
*not really
**as if
***It's important that you know that this is not the same as jail.

HEEEEEEE

Issue 21 | ~8 Ghost Dollars
"...rated 5 stars on iTunes by TSM_Liquid_FaZe_Ninja"

ANNOUNMENTS:
by Shef Kerbi
Our viewers have noticed some inconsistencies between the TBG version of SKNN and the website version. In response to that, the TBG version of SKNN has switched back to the old logo for news reports, although our company's logo will still be the new one shown here. We appreciate your feedback and would like to continue the OPIONION column. We will also credit people's work where possible.

Also, ever since we first received reports about the MISITOUS BIRB DINERBLADE, we've set up a camera on top of SKNN headquarters and began livestreaming the event on our website and on Twitch. This will be the first time MISITOUS BIRB DINERBLADE has been on video.

--

BREAKING NEWS
by Keysun DDDO

Keyn DDDD, glorious keyn of whatever this place is called, has declared that he's "starvin' over here," and "that there Dinerblade is going to be my dinner!"

He was later seen loading shoptsoses with local giant snail "Eskergom" and cannon balls.

--

Birb lovers begin a protest against Keyn DDDD for wanting to shoot Dinerblade out of the sky. Local authorities side with the birb lovers and tell Keyn DDDD to dismantle the shoptsoses. "Wait, shouldn't I be the local authority?" questions Keyn DDDD.

In other news, local giant snail "Eskergom" is stranded on the Great Mountain. Please somebody bring him back, we miss him.



MORE BIRB NEWS
by Bon Starbuckle
bon has come back from his birdwatching adventure and taken a picture of the Big Bird™

wait... is it looking at the camera?

oH NOES



OPIONION WITH SHEF KERBI AND BON STARBUCKLE
The best part of the news and the reason why I still breathe.

So we told you Shef Kerbi News Network fans on our Scratch page that you could post anything with the #SKNN hashtag and you could end up in our paper! In this episode, we'll respond to some of your feedback with the new SKNN format, as well as show some of your cool stuff!
We began this issue's session with

and here were your responses:

ChiefMike27409 wrote:

This was one of the response we got to the new logo, and we appreciate it! Our team raided Shef Kerbi's computer and found that he had a copy of Adobe Photoshop on there. Disgusting. (and I just wrote in the third person and wait what my photoshop got deleted)

æboss wrote:

Here at SKNN, our philosophy is that if a customer is not satisfied with a product we advertise, we clearly haven't advertised it enough. Assuming she reads SKNN daily, here's an ad for VACYUM

This next picture has come from an Anonymous person, as when the faxed the image to us they didn't link their Scratch account. Nevertheless, here's their picture:




And of course, an OPIONION column would not be complete without a comment from TSM_Liquid_FaZe_Ninja

According to Socialblade, griffpatch has around 98 000 followers while TSM has over 1.5 million followers. Here's their graph to demonstrate:

Due to your loyalty to the News Gang, we'll try our hardest to get Scratch to verify you. If we don't then we'll buy Scratch and then delete it.

Bon And Bon's Cat Give A Helpful Tip
Throw tomato cans at your vegetable garden to show them you are getting impatient.

----

NSEW THAT IS BROKEN
Recently, the official SKNN thread on the number one forumchat, Text Based gChat, has been, get this, BUMPED.
The entirety of the work team* has been working 24/7** to find the cause and get the person that did it thrown in bad boy timeout.***
*not really
**as if
***It's important that you know that this is not the same as jail.

Notice: We've found the suspect. Don't worry, we've given him the bad boy timeout.

COMIX
by Apple and whoever Alex the JPEG is I forgot sorry




GAIN
by reali



SPORT????????????

BREAKING JONH GAMEMAN SPECAL REPORT (plese do not break john gameman)

big bird thing is angery now and is makking hurricans weird clown guy told everyone its because the bird is eveils and has always been evils so hes offer to shoot the evil bird downs which is a good idea except its not because he did not let jogn gameman shoot bird because john gameman is "not responsabel" john gameman is responsebel john gameman is porfessional game and man man but also professonal call of duty player john gameman is so good that john gameman mom make john gameman not play call of duty and put money in "good at call of duty" jar why would clown not recognize john gameman shooting skill? do not support clown! clown needs to support john gameman shooting skill! clown's giant omlet may be cool but they are also clearly trolling john gameman so do not support!!!!

i miss call of duty...

WETHR
by Zeke Teddy

Ok so weather i guess,,,


So today's going to be a top of 17 and a low of 12, but there are also going to be pretty strong winds so it'll feel more like 7-ish
might have something to do with that birb that came along

Tomorrow's windy, chilly, AND stormy, what fun!
Max 15, min 11


THANK YOU FOR WATCH. PLEASE TUN E IN NEXT TIME FOR MORE NESW





Shef Kerbi News Network follows the guidelines and conventions set by the 1984 High Quality News Act of Dreem Lend, which states that any news published is to be of a high quality, is to remain unbiased and to show all sides of a news report, does not attack anyone, and protects the privacy of people whose identities don't want to be revealed.

If you would like to file a complaint regarding content use, please message SKNN through our Scratch account. We also have a Twitter and Instagram account if you prefer.

Shef Kerbi News Network respects the ancestors of Cappy Town, and understands that they are the reason why Dreem Lend exists.

Shef Kerbi News Network is proud to be a subsidiary of Shef Werld

CASH:

EXPENSES:

News broadcast: -$600
THAT DARN BIRB DINERBLADE: -$1500
Wages: 9 x -$400 = -$3600 // again, i think

TOTAL EXPENSES: $5700

GAIN:

Annonment x2: $0

News Report x4:
   THAT DARN BIRB DINERBLADE: +$1600
   more birb: +$900
   broken news: +$700
   JOHN GAMEMAN: +$800

Total = $4000

Ads x3: $600 x 4 = $1800

Comic:
   Candy Sadness X: +$1100
   Other Comic: +$400
Total = $1500

TOTAL GAIN: $7300

PREVIOUS TOTAL MONEY FOR SKNN: $10600
TOTAL PROFIT: +$1600
NEW TOTAL MONEY FOR SKNN: $12200


Bon And Bon's Cat Give A Helpful Tip
Here's a step by step guide to doing the epic new frotnite nown as the Flose:

1. dont

actually i didn't use the new logo because having to do a new one for each bulletin would take up too much space. github is already probably mad at shef wrld for using github personal sites for commercial use so we don't need any more drama with them

Quote from: the2000actually i didn't use the new logo because having to do a new one for each bulletin would take up too much space. github is already probably mad at shef wrld for using github personal sites for commercial use so we don't need any more drama with them

yeah i heard github is mad at us. i'll tell our viewers about it

Quote from: CatsUnited

Quote from: the2000actually i didn't use the new logo because having to do a new one for each bulletin would take up too much space. github is already probably mad at shef wrld for using github personal sites for commercial use so we don't need any more drama with them

yeah i heard github is mad at us. i'll tell our viewers about it

hey by the way on my website's main page there's a contact link. can you send me your discord tag