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Shef Kerbi News Network

Started by CatsUnited, Sep 22, 2018, 05:22:47 PM

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CatsUnited

Quote from: the2000guys i might update the website soon thanks for doing absolutely nothing while i was gone it really helps
its fine

the2000

#227
alright i'm done now also this game is getting kinda boring imo. the toadsworth event was the only interesting one (although i did like the dreem leend space program it wasn't really an exciting "event") and i feel like people only really care for the comics (kinda like in real life rofllolrofllolrofllolrofllolrofllolrofllolrofllol). i want to hear some more funny stories (and no i'm not saying mine are that good either). maybe i liked the toadsworth event because it involved people actually making stuff for the paper unlike the other two events, because there were actual consequences, and because it involved everyone trying their best to influence an outcome they didn't have a direct say on.

also i wish more people were talking about the weather section because i'd like to hear more about the drastic temperature changes than just Teddy's angry all-caps yelling and the single news report about strawberry shortcake or smth. since i have to hand-port each issue i read through everything and i just think Teddy is a lot funnier than what we give him credit for.

and one last thing: here's an idea for a top bar design I would use if I wasn't too lazy to add it and if there were enough sections to add:
wasteof - the game of joining the game continues

<-- This is my friend dan. we are good chums
DAN FACT OF THE DAY: dan can only count to six on his hands

Blunderbus

awe thanks man :')

anyway here's weather

Today: Today is still cold. Is a chirstmas thing I guess
Max -3, min -11
Tomorrow: Let's see, tomorrow's gonna be... oh you've gotta be kidding me, tommorow's a max of 34 and a min of 29. why does this keep happening. what is wrong with this universe.
join Fragmented Future to RIDE A TRAIN! WOOOOOOO YEAH, TRAINS, BABY!

RedComputer4964

Name: Carmes
Gender: M
Age: 20s
Past Experience: Programmer, Web designer
Occupation: Advertiser, News Reporter, Cartoonist
[✔️] Fill in this box to agree to the 46 pages of terms and conditions that Shef Kerbi himself wrote

Carmes donates $1,500 to SKNN.
My signature was eaten by an evil kumquat.

RedComputer4964

Quote from: RedComputer4964Name: Carmes
Gender: M
Age: 20s
Past Experience: Programmer, Web designer
Occupation: Advertiser, News Reporter, Cartoonist
[✔️] Fill in this box to agree to the 46 pages of terms and conditions that Shef Kerbi himself wrote

Carmes donates $1,500 to SKNN.

Hello, CatsUnited?
My signature was eaten by an evil kumquat.

CatsUnited

shef kerbi wake up
*alarm bell off pls wake up*
k
time continues from now
Quote from: RedComputer4964Name: Carmes
Gender: M
Age: 20s
Past Experience: Programmer, Web designer
Occupation: Advertiser, News Reporter, Cartoonist
[✔️] Fill in this box to agree to the 46 pages of terms and conditions that Shef Kerbi himself wrote

Carmes donates $1,500 to SKNN.
welcome to news gang carmes
thanks for the dollar cash

CatsUnited

look, i know some of the guys out there are starting to find this quite boring. shef kerbi has always got other ways to get people's money and then spend it in a holiday with the boys. you know what, i mig...

EVENT:

A "person" (we believe it is a person but we're not even sure if they're a physical entity in the first place) going under the name "Thing 1" is reportedly going to obliterate Shef Kerbi from existance for whatever reason. Here's a statement from a police officer on "Thing 1"

So this thing that we're gonna call "Thing 1" was apparently the reason why Dreem Lend has been acting quite awful over the last several days.
The reason the weather is so strange is believed to be "Thing 1", which we call a thing because it has a tendency to possess anyone or anything.
It apparently escaped out of Shef Kerbi's basement while being trapped there for two and a half years. During that time, "Thing 1" has lost
all physical form, allowing it to escape out of a chamber that we discovered in Shef Kerbi's basement. Shef Kerbi is currently being
questioned about this.

A hacker has discovered that we're definitely living inside a simulation, as he's managed to access the debug mode for THE UNIVERSE. We
told the hacker to do a check on "Thing 1", and he couldn't find anything until "Thing 1" possessed a power generator and shut off
electricity to everyone for around 48 hours. During this time, the hacker (who conveniently enough was using his laptop for this) managed
to find "Thing 1". However, we had to rename him to "Thing 1" because his real name broke the entire police system.

In summary, I have no idea who this thing is yet and what his intentions are, but I'd look out for it. More information coming soon, Shef Kerbi News Report #11 coming soon

realicraft

Quote from: CatsUnitedlook, i know some of the guys out there are starting to find this quite boring. shef kerbi has always got other ways to get people's money and then spend it in a holiday with the boys. you know what, i mig...

EVENT:

A "person" (we believe it is a person but we're not even sure if they're a physical entity in the first place) going under the name "Thing 1" is reportedly going to obliterate Shef Kerbi from existance for whatever reason. Here's a statement from a police officer on "Thing 1"

So this thing that we're gonna call "Thing 1" was apparently the reason why Dreem Lend has been acting quite awful over the last several days.
The reason the weather is so strange is believed to be "Thing 1", which we call a thing because it has a tendency to possess anyone or anything.
It apparently escaped out of Shef Kerbi's basement while being trapped there for two and a half years. During that time, "Thing 1" has lost
all physical form, allowing it to escape out of a chamber that we discovered in Shef Kerbi's basement. Shef Kerbi is currently being
questioned about this.

A hacker has discovered that we're definitely living inside a simulation, as he's managed to access the debug mode for THE UNIVERSE. We
told the hacker to do a check on "Thing 1", and he couldn't find anything until "Thing 1" possessed a power generator and shut off
electricity to everyone for around 48 hours. During this time, the hacker (who conveniently enough was using his laptop for this) managed
to find "Thing 1". However, we had to rename him to "Thing 1" because his real name broke the entire police system.

In summary, I have no idea who this thing is yet and what his intentions are, but I'd look out for it. More information coming soon, Shef Kerbi News Report #11 coming soon
uhoh
can we do a report on this or would that scare people
it sure is 43.250.142.151       tbgforums.com time, i think
ewow status: 1a has released yet; voting has ended
videos | FS3 | FS3 Wiki | Ratings | Calendar | Universe Manager 2 | Sandbox
65536 progress: ~13.08% @ 97d (0y 3m 5d) [03/18/2024] {8572/65536}



:P:|:o

Blunderbus

We need to do something about this.
Do it for the strawberry shortcake.
join Fragmented Future to RIDE A TRAIN! WOOOOOOO YEAH, TRAINS, BABY!

CatsUnited

uh, anyway news report coming soon EeEeeE

CatsUnited

we back boys


Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #11

Our Website
17 November 2018

LETS GET RIGHT INTO THE NEWS

BRAKING NSEW:
Recently, it was discorvered that learning ELA is usually pointless in about <1% of situations (FakeNsew.com 3) SHEF KERBI NEWS IS THE ONLY NEWS N THE UNIVERSE OKAYYYYY.



Breumhatta's Cleaning Advice

Here's the tips that Breumhatta gave everyone:
So if you really want to clean things properly, the first thing you're gonna need is a broom. If you don't have a broom, that's OK, you can come get one down at Breumhatta's ACME Brooms And Co. Pty. Ltd.™. Anyway, once you have your broom, the first thing you gotta know is that if something isn't getting clean, you're just not trying hard enough. Clean it more. Clean it harder. If it's still not coming off maybe try a mop, which you can also purchase at Breumhatta's ACME Brooms And Co. Pty. Ltd. ™.
Either that or it's a clock, in which case I can't help you. If you've tried a mop and it's not a clock and it's STILL not coming off consider the fact that it's probably supposed to be there. Well, that just about covers it, so hope this will help you all clean more efficiently, and if it doesn't then you're doing it wrong, so you should try Breumhatta's ACME Brooms And Co. Pty. Ltd™'s cleaning for hire section, Breumhatta's Cleaning Everything But Clocks Service.
So that's a thing, that's not me saying that that was all Breumhatta this isn't an ad I promise



MORE CHARACTERS ANNOUNCED FOR SMESH THE ULTIMATE!??

A variety of new characters have been announced including:
- Shef Kerbi
- Breumhatta
- Waddle Dee
- Wardel D (very different)
-
-
-
- An actual fox
- Steve
- Sans
- My OC do not steel
- Tom Nook
- Kraid
- Anyone you want
- Character



anyway here's weather

Today: Today is still cold. Is a chirstmas thing I guess
Max -3, min -11
Tomorrow: Let's see, tomorrow's gonna be... oh you've gotta be kidding me, tommorow's a max of 34 and a min of 29. why does this keep happening. what is wrong with this universe.

THANK YOU FOR WATCH. PLEASE TUN E IN NEXT TIME FOR MORE NESW

This news has all been 100% quality approved to federal government standards by Shef Kerbi pls no arrest because we use MS Paint thanks






monei xd

FATAL ERROR: "♒︎♋︎♒︎♋︎ ❖︎♏︎❒︎⍓︎ ♐︎◆︎■︎■︎⍓︎" is not a valid information. Money has been shut down

realicraft

Quote from: CatsUnitedmonei xd

FATAL ERROR: "♒︎♋︎♒︎♋︎ ❖︎♏︎❒︎⍓︎ ♐︎◆︎■︎■︎⍓︎" is not a valid information. Money has been shut down
uhoh
it sure is 43.250.142.151       tbgforums.com time, i think
ewow status: 1a has released yet; voting has ended
videos | FS3 | FS3 Wiki | Ratings | Calendar | Universe Manager 2 | Sandbox
65536 progress: ~13.08% @ 97d (0y 3m 5d) [03/18/2024] {8572/65536}



:P:|:o

CatsUnited

oh great the money computer crashed guess shef kerbi gonna do it himself

day 20: $6150
you guys: -$1600
boradcast: -$400
bromhet: +$900
brakin new: +$750
smesh th ulmate: +$900
wether: +$650
ads: idk
= $7350

Blunderbus

where were the comics??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
join Fragmented Future to RIDE A TRAIN! WOOOOOOO YEAH, TRAINS, BABY!

realicraft

it sure is 43.250.142.151       tbgforums.com time, i think
ewow status: 1a has released yet; voting has ended
videos | FS3 | FS3 Wiki | Ratings | Calendar | Universe Manager 2 | Sandbox
65536 progress: ~13.08% @ 97d (0y 3m 5d) [03/18/2024] {8572/65536}



:P:|:o

CatsUnited


RedComputer4964

I've got a news report for you. I'll make an advert soon.

Ghost Central Under Contruction

The Ghost Central, a market town thingy in a location only ghosts can see and access, it currently under construction. It was made mainly due to Ghost Fone making no profit (since ghosts cannot use regular dollars).

The only store currently planned is a ghost electronics store, selling:
All prices are in Ghost dollars.
Ghost Fone - $249.95
Ghost Fone charger - Free with every Ghost Fone. If bought without a Ghost Fone, it is $9.95.

More info about construction or new stores coming soon.
My signature was eaten by an evil kumquat.

RedComputer4964

#243
I made an advert.


Crop out the blank bit at the top when putting the ad in the news thingy.
My signature was eaten by an evil kumquat.

Joyous Theta

#244
What no don't eat dirty clocks, that's a good way for the dust to play twister on your lungs and give you lung cancer.

Also ad but I had to draw it on a napkin because the electricity shut off.


CatsUnited


Blunderbus

Hey I have some news for you

A small yellow starfish has been spotted off the coast of Crice-Ream Island, who's apparently identified themselves as Stoify. They've described themselves as "the Kerbi of the sea". More on this as well as more AntDude references as the situation unfolds.


also you probs want weather

So uh guys i've figured out why all the weather is being so weird
It's not actually the universe
All the weather data from Dreem Lend has been getting mixed up so I've been reading weather from everywhere instead of just Grean Greans
I'm hoping this problem will be fixed soon

Anyway today in Grean Greans it's supposed to be min 4 and max 11.
Tommorow's weather data apparently comes from somewhere else because it's min -192 and max -184 so like
join Fragmented Future to RIDE A TRAIN! WOOOOOOO YEAH, TRAINS, BABY!

CatsUnited

antdood funny guy

anyway the weather from somewhere else mi̶g̵ht̴ be ̴ca̴us̶e̴d̵ b̶̙̔͛y̴̗̏ ̳̈́͘ T̵͓̫̤͆̏͝h̯̝͆í̶̡͎ͅň̶͚̞͖̌̔g̶̹̤̔̈́͘ ̘̈́̔̓1̴̘̘̩̒̂͝


the2000

..guys i think shef kerbi ded
wasteof - the game of joining the game continues

<-- This is my friend dan. we are good chums
DAN FACT OF THE DAY: dan can only count to six on his hands

CatsUnited

no that was just the money machine crashing again it's fine

RedComputer4964

#250
A lab somewhere in Dreem Land is attempting to invent something called a "What-Must-Not-Be-Named repellent".
My signature was eaten by an evil kumquat.