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Plan to Fail: the ultimate lesson in RNG

Started by Blunderbus, Nov 06, 2018, 02:21:21 PM

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Blunderbus

Welcome to Plan to Fail! A group of particularly unlucky adventurers are heading into the Castle of Illusion to defeat the Dark Sorcerer that awaits them at the top of the tallest tower. However, it may be more tricky than expected to get to him...

Rules
- All the standard stuff applies. No godmodding, no Mary Sues, no powerplaying etc. (metagaming shouldn't be a problem since the group will stick together most of the time)
- Don't complain about the rolls, the whole point is that they're gonna suck and you'll fail hilariously at least one time
- Permadeath applies, but you can rejoin with a new character as soon as the battle's done
- One alive character per person at any given time

The gimmick
All the heroes of this story are extremely unlucky: the rolls are weighted against them. 3d10 are rolled and the lowest is chosen, meaning you're less likely to succeed!
(e.g. 3d10 = 8, 3, 5, the roll counts as a 3)
You can work around this, however: less risky actions have less/no consequences on a backfire & if you really want you can do the opposite of what you want to do so a backfire will do something positive.
(Note that the enemies are not affected by this gimmick)

Signup sheet
Name:
Gender:
Age:
Brief description:
Stats (split 15 points between them, max of 5 per stat):
     Attack (what it sounds like):
     Defense (what it sounds like):
     Magic (strength of spells):
     Speed (accuracy + evasion):
     Composure (decreases effects of misfire):
Inventory: (not too many things please)
Other:

Characters:
Name: bonstar
Gender: m
Age: 17
Brief description: after his parents both died from an unfortunate incident involving lighting, horses, and swords all at the same time somehow, he taught himself to steal from the gullible/easily distracted/just plain dumb and run, the ability to attack when a swift hand isn't enough, and the value of considering a target instead of falling victim to impulse.
Stats (split 15 points between them, max of 5 per stat):
     Attack (what it sounds like): 5
     Defense (what it sounds like): 0
     Magic (strength of spells): 0
     Speed (accuracy + evasion): 5
     Composure (decreases effects of misfire): 5
Inventory: carries two daggers, one crossbow, and dagger/crossbow poison.
Other: has a quick tongue, and hates things that are taller than him.
Status: Mostly healthy
Name: Bob
Gender: M
Age: 12
Brief description: Boy with blue clothes.
Stats (split 15 points between them, max of 5 per stat):
     Attack (what it sounds like): 0
     Defense (what it sounds like): 5
     Magic (strength of spells): 5
     Speed (accuracy + evasion): 0
     Composure (decreases effects of misfire): 5
Inventory: Apple, Spellbook, Butter knife
Other: Is stubborn. Doesn't talk much.
Status: Healthy
Name: Letoil
Gender: F
Age: 17
Brief description: An anthropomorphic siberian husky with more armor on than I have articles of clothing.  You can't even tell she's a girl.  Or a furry, for that matter.
Stats (split 15 points between them, max of 5 per stat):
     Attack (what it sounds like): 3
     Defense (what it sounds like): 5
     Magic (strength of spells): 3
     Speed (accuracy + evasion): 1
     Composure (decreases effects of misfire): 3
Inventory: Full iron-plate armor with a muzzle, maybe some clothes, definitely a couple chicken legs, and a wand thats smaller than
uh
a breadbox, i guess
Other: i have nothing else to say, she's almost a joke chatacter
Status: Healthy
join Fragmented Future to RIDE A TRAIN! WOOOOOOO YEAH, TRAINS, BABY!

findanegg

#2
Name: bonstar
Gender: m
Age: 17
Brief description: after his parents both died from an unfortunate incident involving lighting, horses, and swords all at the same time somehow, he taught himself to steal from the gullible/easily distracted/just plain dumb and run, the ability to attack when a swift hand isn't enough, and the value of considering a target instead of falling victim to impulse.
Stats (split 15 points between them, max of 5 per stat):
     Attack (what it sounds like): 5
     Defense (what it sounds like): 0
     Magic (strength of spells): 0
     Speed (accuracy + evasion): 5
     Composure (decreases effects of misfire): 5
Other: carries two daggers, one crossbow, and dagger/crossbow poison. has a quick tongue, and hates things that are taller than him.
She/they, likes collecting Stamps and playing runescape. Veteran of the Sandwich War.

Blunderbus

Quote from: findaneggName: bonstar
Gender: m
Age: 17
Brief description: after his parents both died from an unfortunate incident involving lighting, horses, and swords all at the same time somehow, he taught himself to steal from the gullible/easily distracted/just plain dumb and run, the ability to attack when a swift hand isn't enough, and the value of considering a target instead of falling victim to impulse.
Stats (split 15 points between them, max of 5 per stat):
     Attack (what it sounds like): 5
     Defense (what it sounds like): 0
     Magic (strength of spells): 0
     Speed (accuracy + evasion): 5
     Composure (decreases effects of misfire): 5
Other: carries two daggers, one crossbow, and dagger/crossbow poison. has a quick tongue, and hates things that are taller than him.
Accepted.
(I forgot to put inventory in the signup sheet but then couldn't edit it for a while so :|)
join Fragmented Future to RIDE A TRAIN! WOOOOOOO YEAH, TRAINS, BABY!

findanegg

She/they, likes collecting Stamps and playing runescape. Veteran of the Sandwich War.

Seanbobe

Name: Bob
Gender: M
Age: 12
Brief description: Boy with blue clothes.
Stats (split 15 points between them, max of 5 per stat):
     Attack (what it sounds like): 0
     Defense (what it sounds like): 5
     Magic (strength of spells): 5
     Speed (accuracy + evasion): 0
     Composure (decreases effects of misfire): 5
Inventory: Apple, Spellbook (Encyclopedia if the spellbook is not OK for this RPG), Butter knife
Other: Is stubborn. Doesn't talk much.
My joke RPG: Instructions Unclear: The RPG of Memes
My serious RPG: Stop the Spambots!
My offline life: error 404

Blunderbus

Quote from: seanbobeName: Bob
Gender: M
Age: 12
Brief description: Boy with blue clothes.
Stats (split 15 points between them, max of 5 per stat):
     Attack (what it sounds like): 0
     Defense (what it sounds like): 5
     Magic (strength of spells): 5
     Speed (accuracy + evasion): 0
     Composure (decreases effects of misfire): 5
Inventory: Apple, Spellbook (Encyclopedia if the spellbook is not OK for this RPG), Butter knife
Other: Is stubborn. Doesn't talk much.
All right
join Fragmented Future to RIDE A TRAIN! WOOOOOOO YEAH, TRAINS, BABY!

Starmeadows

Name: Letoil
Gender: F
Age: 17
Brief description: An anthropomorphic siberian husky with more armor on than I have articles of clothing.  You can't even tell she's a girl.  Or a furry, for that matter.
Stats (split 15 points between them, max of 5 per stat):
     Attack (what it sounds like): 3
     Defense (what it sounds like): 5
     Magic (strength of spells): 3
     Speed (accuracy + evasion): 1
     Composure (decreases effects of misfire): 3
Inventory: Full iron-plate armor with a muzzle, maybe some clothes, definitely a couple chicken legs, and a wand thats smaller than
uh
a breadbox, i guess
Other: i have nothing else to say, she's almost a joke chatacter

findanegg

Quote from: Smiley100PName: Letoil
Gender: F
Age: 17
Brief description: An anthropomorphic siberian husky with more armor on than I have articles of clothing.  You can't even tell she's a girl.  Or a furry, for that matter.
Stats (split 15 points between them, max of 5 per stat):
     Attack (what it sounds like): 3
     Defense (what it sounds like): 5
     Magic (strength of spells): 3
     Speed (accuracy + evasion): 1
     Composure (decreases effects of misfire): 3
Inventory: Full iron-plate armor with a muzzle, maybe some clothes, definitely a couple chicken legs, and a wand thats smaller than
uh
a breadbox, i guess
Other: i have nothing else to say, she's almost a joke chatacter
OwO
She/they, likes collecting Stamps and playing runescape. Veteran of the Sandwich War.

Wolfslime123

Quote from: Smiley100PName: Letoil
Gender: F
Age: 17
Brief description: An anthropomorphic siberian husky with more armor on than I have articles of clothing.  You can't even tell she's a girl.  Or a furry, for that matter.
Stats (split 15 points between them, max of 5 per stat):
     Attack (what it sounds like): 3
     Defense (what it sounds like): 5
     Magic (strength of spells): 3
     Speed (accuracy + evasion): 1
     Composure (decreases effects of misfire): 3
Inventory: Full iron-plate armor with a muzzle, maybe some clothes, definitely a couple chicken legs, and a wand thats smaller than
uh
a breadbox, i guess
Other: i have nothing else to say, she's almost a joke chatacter
*Uncomfortables in TBGer* I don't like that word... Let's try not to use it in the future. Please?
Yours Truly,
\\/\/

Starmeadows

Quote from: Wolfslime123
Quote from: Smiley100PName: Letoil
Gender: F
Age: 17
Brief description: An anthropomorphic siberian husky with more armor on than I have articles of clothing.  You can't even tell she's a girl.  Or a furry, for that matter.
Stats (split 15 points between them, max of 5 per stat):
     Attack (what it sounds like): 3
     Defense (what it sounds like): 5
     Magic (strength of spells): 3
     Speed (accuracy + evasion): 1
     Composure (decreases effects of misfire): 3
Inventory: Full iron-plate armor with a muzzle, maybe some clothes, definitely a couple chicken legs, and a wand thats smaller than
uh
a breadbox, i guess
Other: i have nothing else to say, she's almost a joke chatacter
*Uncomfortables in TBGer* I don't like that word... Let's try not to use it in the future. Please?
Furry or smaller?

Blunderbus

Quote from: Smiley100PName: Letoil
Gender: F
Age: 17
Brief description: An anthropomorphic siberian husky with more armor on than I have articles of clothing.  You can't even tell she's a girl.  Or a furry, for that matter.
Stats (split 15 points between them, max of 5 per stat):
     Attack (what it sounds like): 3
     Defense (what it sounds like): 5
     Magic (strength of spells): 3
     Speed (accuracy + evasion): 1
     Composure (decreases effects of misfire): 3
Inventory: Full iron-plate armor with a muzzle, maybe some clothes, definitely a couple chicken legs, and a wand thats smaller than
uh
a breadbox, i guess
Other: i have nothing else to say, she's almost a joke chatacter
k sure
join Fragmented Future to RIDE A TRAIN! WOOOOOOO YEAH, TRAINS, BABY!

Blunderbus

All right I'm gonna start this


The group arrives in front of the Castle of Illusion. The drawbridge is down, and it looks free to enter, but there's a strange figure in the shadows inside the doorway.
The castle itself looks intimidating, with its singe stone tower above the group. There's a strange flashing coming from the top of it.

There's not much around other than the castle itself. The drawbridge is the obvious way in but there may be something else on the sides.
join Fragmented Future to RIDE A TRAIN! WOOOOOOO YEAH, TRAINS, BABY!

findanegg

I pick up a rock and throw it at the figure.
She/they, likes collecting Stamps and playing runescape. Veteran of the Sandwich War.

Starmeadows

Letoil casually points her wand at the figure.

Blunderbus

#15
Quote from: findaneggI pick up a rock and throw it at the figure.
Bonstar: Throw Rock: 3d10 = 10, 8, 9 -> 8 (lucky!)

Bonstar picks up the closest rock and hurls it inside the castle. It hits the figure dead-on, but they seem uninjured, despite taking a rock to the face.

Quote from: Smiley100PLetoil casually points her wand at the figure.
(you wanna cast something or just point the wand?)
join Fragmented Future to RIDE A TRAIN! WOOOOOOO YEAH, TRAINS, BABY!

findanegg

Bon tosses a rock onto the drawbridge to check for traps.
She/they, likes collecting Stamps and playing runescape. Veteran of the Sandwich War.

Seanbobe

I cast a sleeping spell at the figure.
My joke RPG: Instructions Unclear: The RPG of Memes
My serious RPG: Stop the Spambots!
My offline life: error 404

Blunderbus

Quote from: findaneggBon tosses a rock onto the drawbridge to check for traps.
(throwing a rock into the general vicinity of the drawbridge is super easy so i'm not rolling for it)
Bon throws a rock onto the bridge. It rolls for a bit and then settles down. Nothing else happens.

Quote from: seanbobeI cast a sleeping spell at the figure.
Bob: Cast Spell: 3d10 = 3, 5, 3 -> 3

Bob charges up a sleeping spell and casts it at the figure. It seems to dissipate away as the spell reaches it and then appears again after it's passed.


The figure motions towards the group. A small fireball appears in front of it.

???: Fireball: 1d10 = 4

The fireball is launched forwards, towards Bob. It goes slightly over his head, missing him, and dissipates into the air behind.
join Fragmented Future to RIDE A TRAIN! WOOOOOOO YEAH, TRAINS, BABY!

Starmeadows

(I/she was just casually pointing lol)

Letoil casts a protective spell over the party.

findanegg

Bonstar decides to approach the figure and attempt conversation with the phrase "Who are you?"
She/they, likes collecting Stamps and playing runescape. Veteran of the Sandwich War.

Blunderbus

Quote from: Smiley100P(I/she was just casually pointing lol)

Letoil casts a protective spell over the party.
Letoil: Shield Spell: 3d10 = 1, 3, 4 -> 1 (complete backfire)

Letoil tries to set up a protective spell, but ends up casting the wrong one and instead casts a defense decreasing spell.
Composure: 3
Realising her mistake she tries to divert it away from the party, with limited success.

Bob's Defense has been temporarily decresed!
Bonstar's Defense has been temporarily decreased!

Quote from: findaneggBonstar decides to approach the figure and attempt conversation with the phrase "Who are you?"
Bonstar steps forward and tries to talk to the strange figure. It seems to tilt its head to the side, responding to Bonstar, before vanishing and reappearing directly behind Bonstar.

???: Grab: 1d10 = 5 (barely succeeds)

The figure grabs onto Bonstar from behind, trying to drag him off the drawbridge.

Now that it's out in the sun, you can see it more clearly. Its face is obscured by its dark cloak, along with the rest of its body, but it's clearly some kind of Sorcerer.


Bonstar will be tossed off the bridge and left vulnerable if you don't do something soon.
join Fragmented Future to RIDE A TRAIN! WOOOOOOO YEAH, TRAINS, BABY!

Seanbobe

My joke RPG: Instructions Unclear: The RPG of Memes
My serious RPG: Stop the Spambots!
My offline life: error 404

findanegg

#23
I attempt to talk the figure out of throwing me off the drawbridge. Also, the fact that it's dragging me implies that it's taller than me so I also attempt stabbing it.
She/they, likes collecting Stamps and playing runescape. Veteran of the Sandwich War.

Blunderbus

Quote from: seanbobeI freeze the figure with a spell.
Bob: Freeze Spell: 3d10 = 2, 6, 5 -> 2 (partial misfire)

Bob shoots a freeze bolt at the sorcerer. It hits it and freezes it, but it also freezes Bonstar.

Quote from: findaneggI attempt to talk the figure out of throwing me off the drawbridge. Also, the fact that it's dragging me implies that it's taller than me so I also attempt stabbing it.
(Since you've been frozen I'm going to hold this action until you defrost next turn)


The Sorcerer is frozen and can't do anything, but they'll unfreeze next turn.
join Fragmented Future to RIDE A TRAIN! WOOOOOOO YEAH, TRAINS, BABY!

Starmeadows

Letoil casually walks in the tower, sure to hold a small fire spell just in case.
Also will the defense-lowering spell wear off or