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Shef Kerbi News Network

Started by CatsUnited, Sep 22, 2018, 05:22:47 PM

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CatsUnited

Shef Kerbi News Network Logo

CURRENT EVENT: SKNN Training Program II

Money: $52 405
Issues Published: 41 (list of articles)

Money from other Shef Werld companies: $75 200
Total Money for Shef Werld: $127 605

Welcome to Shef Kerbi News Network! Rated the highest network in Dreem Lend for 38 articles in a row, our network brings the readers of Dreem Lend and Planett Popstah the best and the only news that they need.

General Rules:
No using real news stories. While it would be cool, I don't want to have to deal with actual news stories.
Make the news good. We need more viewers because Shef Kerbi needs money for whatever he does

SKNN TRAINING PROGRAM
If you saw our now hiring advertisement and want to join SKNN, check out our training program page which you can access here!

News Reporter

As a news reporter of SKNN, you will need to go out and collect news and send it to Shef Kerbi so he can create the best news report of all time and get a bunch of money. Then, the news reporter has to write a news report to send to Shef Kerbi to put on his bulletin. News reports cannot be recycled for use on multiple bulletins: they are single-use.

Advertisements

Shef Kerbi is hungry for money so he also wants ads in the news. You can also sign up as an advertiser, and as one, it's your responsibility to give Shef Kerbi the best ads for his news bulletin. Unlike news reports, ads can be used in multiple news reports.

The guy that does the Weather

We need the best person on Dreem Lend to report the weather for Dreem Lend so that Keyn DDDD doesn't get mad at us because we didn't report the weather. Only one person can do the weather thing though so that our viewers become more emotionally attached to them or something like that

MONEY

Shef Kerbi loves money so you better make him some dollar cash otherwise he'll be mad. This is how SKNN's budget works:

Expenses:
Topic hosting (the cost for this thread to exist): Our other Shef Werld companies automatically pay for this.
News broadcast: -$600 ($600 per news broadcast)
Website Maintenance: -$2000 (at the moment per news broadcast)
Wages: -$505 (per person per news broadcast)

The amount of money that news reports, advertisements and comics make depends on the quality of the item and in the case of comics, the reputation of the comic series.

If Shef Kerbi runs out of money, SKNN will have to file for bankruptcy, meaning that this topic will be closed.

Sign Up Sheet

To join SKNN as an employee, you will need to complete this form first:
(the sign up sheet is also available on the Training Page)
Name:
Gender:
Age:
Past Experience:
Occupation: (news reporter/advertiser/the guy that presents the weather)
[ ] Fill in this box to agree to the 46 pages of terms and conditions that Shef Kerbi himself wrote

Example News Bulletin now shown on the SKNN Training Page

List of good high quality news
Series II (Shef Werld-era SKNN)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #41 (02/28/2020)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #40 (01/28/2020)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #39 (12/30/2019)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #38 (12/13/2019)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #37 (12/01/2019)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #36.5 (11/13/2019)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #36 (11/12/2019)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #35 (10/31/2019)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #34 (10/17/2019)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #33 (10/03/2019)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #32 (09/22/2019)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #31 (09/14/2019)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #30 (08/29/2019)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #29 (08/21/2019)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #28 (08/16/2019)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #27 (08/09/2019)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #26 (07/26/2019)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #25 (07/19/2019)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #24 (07/14/2019)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #23 (06/03/2019)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #22 (05/25/2019)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #21 (04/15/2019)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #20 (03/03/2019)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #19 (02/23/2019)

Series I (OG SKNN)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #18 (01/06/2019)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #17 (12/23/2018)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #16 (12/12/2018)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #15 (11/28/2018)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #14 (11/24/2018)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #12½ (11/22/2018)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #12 (11/21/2018)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #11 (11/17/2018)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #10 (10/31/2018)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #9 (10/26/2018)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #8 (10/20/2018)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #7 (10/12/2018)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #6 (10/6/2018)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #5 (10/4/2018)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #4 (10/2/2018)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #3 (9/30/2018)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #2 (9/27/2018)
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #1 (9/25/2018)

List of Previous Events
- Toadsworth is sending us to court! (9/27/2018)
- Dreem Lend Space Program needs a broadcaster (10/8/2018)
- HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN?? (10/31/2018)
- □︎♒︎ ■︎□︎ ⬧︎♒︎♏︎♐︎ ?♏︎❒︎♌︎♓︎ ?︎?︎?︎?︎?︎?︎?︎?︎?︎?︎?︎✆︎
- MISTIUS BIRB DINERBLADE (THAT DARN BIRB DINERBLADE) (March 2019)
- PETA suing Opposum Man (7/30/2019 - 8/16/2019)
- Dreem Lend does Internet Censorship? (11/9/2019)
- SKNN Training Program II (Late September 2019)

OUR PROUD EMPLOYEES:
Name: Shef Kerbi
Gender: M
Age: 25
Past Experience: Manager at McDonalds, Professional Mario Party player, very good game developer
Occupation: Producer and Big Boy Boss
Name: Reali
Gender: M
Age: 12
Past Experience: None
Occupation: News Reporter and Advertising Man
Apple The Cat
Name: M
Gender: 939
Age: Fast Food
Past Experience: the guy that presents the weather
Occupation: ☑
Intelligence: Much
Name: bane starbuckle
Gender: yes, they have a gender. they're not sharing
Age: 45
Past Experience: made the good webcomic on the internet with an acquaintance.
Occupation: sequential artist
Name: Zeke Teddy
Gender: M
Age: Like 10
Past Experience: None
Occupation: the guy that presents the weather
Name: Keynsun DDDO
Gender: Male
Age: Old enough
Past Experience: Clock cleaner
Occupation: Advertiser
Name: Carmes
Gender: M
Age: 20s
Past Experience: Programmer, Web designer
Occupation: Advertiser, News Reporter, Cartoonist
Name: dave saus
Gender: M
Age: ok??
Past Experience: I have been writing news for like 3 minutes and I am very good. yesterday I spend a solid hour trying to get oen of the power moons in mario oddysey (I'll get it eventually). I can also sing Gaston from memory (okay only the egg part but still)
Occupation: News Reporter, I will report on very important pieces of news
Name: Sable
Gender: Mercury
Age: 19
Past Experience: Upscale Ford Taurus
Occupation: Advertiser
Name: hello i am john gameman porfesonal game and man man
Gender: man
Age: i am john gameman i am 10
Past Experience: i am jon gameman experoence of professonal game and man man i am the best game and man man you'll find mr. united i am john gameman do not question me
Occupation: i am john gameman i was going to be newsgameman but then pengun told me to be sports newsgameman call of duty a sport?
Name: Ted Pratico
Gender: Male
Age: 15
Past Experience: Used to draw comics in elementary school and was at a public speaking club at one point
Occupation: News reporter & cartoonist
Name: EZGuy
Gender: M
Age: I'm as old as dirt.
Past Experience: I was a news reporter over in the Mushroom Kingdom for a bit.
Occupation: News Reporter.
Name: Arceus Equinox ("Arc")
Gender: F
Age: 1,127
Past Experience: Had a job of writing news articles over in Sinnoh
Occupation: News Reporter, Comic Designer
INACTIVE/FORMER EMPLOYEES:
Name: TAPAP
Gender: LABELS ARE DEMONIC
Age: 19.19.5
Past Experience: I SCREAMED ON THE HIGH SCHOOL ANNOUNCEMENTS AND LET THE MOMENT OF SILENCE LAST 8 SECONDS
Occupation: NEWS REPORTER

Name:straw!reali
Gender: M
Age: 20?
Past Experience: actor in some crazy guy's comics
Occupation: advertiser (for his improv class down at the community center
Name: Waluigi
Gender: M
Age: Unknown
Past Experience: Expecting any past experience? TOO BAD, WALUIGI TIME!
Occupation: advertiser

Name: Zachary Van Tyanzhong
Gender: MALE
Age: 22
Past Experience: Fire Alarm Inspector
Occupation: News Reporter

Name: Michael Comma
Gender: MALE
Age: 14
Past Experience: Security System Dealer
Occupation: Advertiser

Name: Somari
Gender: M
Age: -1
Past Experience: Saved the world, nobody gave even half a crap.
Occupation: Advertiser

Name: Gernfald
Gender: M
Age: 20 (in cat years)
Past Experience: None (just bought by someone at the pet shop)
Occupation: Comic Maker

Name: Bobob LiteNing
Gender: M
Age: over 11
Past Experience: LittleBigPlanet level designer, trashposter, etc.
Desired Occupation: News Reporter for stuff happ,ening in LittleBigPlanet
Name: walter
Gender: walter
Age: NaN
Past Experience: none
Occupation: Advertiser
Name: Austin
Gender: Male
Age:16
Past Experience: Working at a bun factory
Occupation: Weatherman

realicraft

Name: Reali
Gender: M
Age: 12
Past Experience: None
Occupation: (news reporter/advertiser/the guy that presents the weather) News Reporter
[:check:] Fill in this box to agree to the 46 pages of terms and conditions that Shef Kerbi himself wrote
it sure is 43.250.142.151       tbgforums.com time, i think
ewow status: 1a has released yet; voting has ended
videos | FS3 | FS3 Wiki | Ratings | Calendar | Universe Manager 2 | Sandbox
65536 progress: ~13.08% @ 97d (0y 3m 5d) [03/18/2024] {8572/65536}



:P:|:o

CatsUnited

Welcome to the news gang Reali. Shef Kerbi is glad. We need news pls

the2000

#4
Apple The Cat
Name: M
Gender: 939
Age: Fast Food
Past Experience: the guy that presents the weather
Occupation: ☑
Intelligence: Much
wasteof - the game of joining the game continues

<-- This is my friend dan. we are good chums
DAN FACT OF THE DAY: dan can only count to six on his hands

findanegg

Name: fren barriston
Gender:m
Age:45
Past Experience: make the gud web comac on the intra net
Occupation: politacol cartonest
[yes okay] Fill in this box to agree to the 46 pages of terms and conditions that Shef Kerbi himself wrote
She/they, likes collecting Stamps and playing runescape. Veteran of the Sandwich War.

CatsUnited

#6
welcome to news gang. shef kerbi needs news pls

Special thanks to apple the cat who's gender is 939 and age is fast food

realicraft

SHEF KERBI I HAVE A NEWS STORY
Ok, so there's this guy, yeah, a guy, and- guess what? He ate; A SANDWICH. A SANDWICH! This story is going to get so many new people hooked onto the network! In fact, I already made the announcement footage:
BREAKING NEWS:
A guy has just eaten a sandwich. That's right, A SANDWICH. Witnesses were unable to find out what was in the sandwich, and we have yet to contact the guy and ask him what was in the sandwich.
One witness says that the guy ate a PB&J sandwich, however we do not have enough evidence to confirm the statement.
it sure is 43.250.142.151       tbgforums.com time, i think
ewow status: 1a has released yet; voting has ended
videos | FS3 | FS3 Wiki | Ratings | Calendar | Universe Manager 2 | Sandbox
65536 progress: ~13.08% @ 97d (0y 3m 5d) [03/18/2024] {8572/65536}



:P:|:o

CatsUnited

Quote from: realicraftSHEF KERBI I HAVE A NEWS STORY
Ok, so there's this guy, yeah, a guy, and- guess what? He ate; A SANDWICH. A SANDWICH! This story is going to get so many new people hooked onto the network! In fact, I already made the announcement footage:
BREAKING NEWS:
A guy has just eaten a sandwich. That's right, A SANDWICH. Witnesses were unable to find out what was in the sandwich, and we have yet to contact the guy and ask him what was in the sandwich.
One witness says that the guy ate a PB&J sandwich, however we do not have enough evidence to confirm the statement.
WHAT THIS IS INSANE YEEE

we need more news though, and weather man need to wake up. Also we need ads people so more cash for Shef Kerbi

the2000

BREAKIN' NEWZZZ
there's gonna be a really b-bad-a really bad snowstorm tomorrow, r-uh, uh-really bad, be sure to pack up on warm and-oh wait that's the weatherman's job
wasteof - the game of joining the game continues

<-- This is my friend dan. we are good chums
DAN FACT OF THE DAY: dan can only count to six on his hands

CatsUnited

Quote from: the2000BREAKIN' NEWZZZ
there's gonna be a really b-bad-a really bad snowstorm tomorrow, r-uh, uh-really bad, be sure to pack up on warm and-oh wait that's the weatherman's job
No care yes money. Shef Kerbi need news broadcast soon

Blunderbus

Name: Zeke Teddy
Gender: M
Age: Like 10
Past Experience: None
Occupation: (news reporter/advertiser/the guy that presents the weather) the guy that presents the weather
[X] Fill in this box to agree to the 46 pages of terms and conditions that Shef Kerbi himself wrote
join Fragmented Future to RIDE A TRAIN! WOOOOOOO YEAH, TRAINS, BABY!

CatsUnited

Quote from: DaEpikDudeName: Zeke Teddy
Gender: M
Age: Like 10
Past Experience: None
Occupation: (news reporter/advertiser/the guy that presents the weather) the guy that presents the weather
[X] Fill in this box to agree to the 46 pages of terms and conditions that Shef Kerbi himself wrote
welcoem to news gang zeke. we will good news and weather

Blunderbus

all right my first report hope i do well uwu

WHETHER REPORT

Today's whether: depending on whether or not you're around the city it'll be raining, but whether the rain will be heavy or light is yet to be confirmed. It'll still be overcast whether or not you're around the city, but whether the suburbs will get showers depends on whether or not the weather patterns go how we think they'll go.

Whether or not the temperature will be around the minimum of 13° or up at the maximum of 22° (C) will depend on the time of day.
join Fragmented Future to RIDE A TRAIN! WOOOOOOO YEAH, TRAINS, BABY!

CatsUnited

OwO

we need ads people though and then we ready to launch Shef Kerbi

findanegg

fren barison has drawn a politics cartoon 4 u! here it is:

oreng man: i m oreng man and i am the bad >:(
evoryday peoaple: no dont be the bad pls
oreng man: no i am the bad. mwa ha hah!!!
the end
She/they, likes collecting Stamps and playing runescape. Veteran of the Sandwich War.

CatsUnited

Quote from: findaneggfren barison has drawn a politics cartoon 4 u! here it is:

oreng man: i m oreng man and i am the bad >:(
evoryday peoaple: no dont be the bad pls
oreng man: no i am the bad. mwa ha hah!!!
the end
woah coal man will rate news gang out news gang 10 10 e skrr news comin soon

Joyous Theta

Name: Keynsun DDDO
Gender: Male
Age: Old enough
Past Experience: Clock cleaner
Occupation: Advertiser
[Ok] Fill in this box to agree to the 46 pages of terms and conditions that Shef Kerbi himself wrote

findanegg

fren barrison has made a new cartoon! looky:

money man (has a lot of money): ha ha i have a lot of money! u dont!
prolly tarry at: no, bad! give us some!
money man (still contains multitudes): no, U bad! econony!
She/they, likes collecting Stamps and playing runescape. Veteran of the Sandwich War.

realicraft

I have more news!
BREAKING NEWS:
We have found out what flavor sandwich the guy ate. It was a peanut butter and jelly and banana and chocolate and potato chip sandwich. Witnesses also report that the guy might also have eaten some boiled eggs.
it sure is 43.250.142.151       tbgforums.com time, i think
ewow status: 1a has released yet; voting has ended
videos | FS3 | FS3 Wiki | Ratings | Calendar | Universe Manager 2 | Sandbox
65536 progress: ~13.08% @ 97d (0y 3m 5d) [03/18/2024] {8572/65536}



:P:|:o

Blunderbus

Another weather report

WEATHER REPORT! (NOT WHETHER THIS TIME)
It's wet.
Temperature is an output of f(x) = x + 15 where the domain is 0 ≤ x ≤ 8
join Fragmented Future to RIDE A TRAIN! WOOOOOOO YEAH, TRAINS, BABY!

CatsUnited

alright good gang news coming soon

CatsUnited

#22
FIRST NEWS GUYS SO EXCITING I A SO HAPPY

shef kerbi news
Shef Kerbi News Bulletin #1
PROVIDING ONLY THE BEST NEWS
25 September 2018

NEWS:

GUYS EATS SANDWICH [ALMOST DIED] [GONE WRONG]
written by reali (confirmed by shef kerbi)

A guy has just eaten a sandwich. That's right, A SANDWICH. We have confirmed that it was a peanut butter and jelly and banana and chocolate and potato chip sandwich. Witnesses also report that the guy might also have eaten some boiled eggs.

GUY ALMOST [GAME ENDED] IN SNOWSTORM
written by Apple the Cat

there's gonna be a really b-bad-a really bad snowstorm tomorrow, r-uh, uh-really bad, be sure to pack up on warm and-oh wait that's the weatherman's job

POLICITICAL CARTOON TIME:







WEATHER:
Today: depending on whether or not you're around the city it'll be raining, but whether the rain will be heavy or light is yet to be confirmed. It'll still be overcast whether or not you're around the city, but whether the suburbs will get showers depends on whether or not the weather patterns go how we think they'll go.

Whether or not the temperature will be around the minimum of 13° or up at the maximum of 22° (C) will depend on the time of day.
Tomorrow: It's wet. Temperature is an output of [INVALID COLOR] f(x) = x + 15 where the domain is [INVALID COLOR] 0 ≤ x ≤ 8

This news has all been approved by Shef Kerbi


CatsUnited

heres the current budget so far:

DAY 0: $5000 (0)
DAY 1: $4850 (-150)
DAY 2: $4150 (-700)

DAY 3: First bulletin publish
Employment: -$700
News broadcast: -$400
Sandwich News Report: +$1050
Snowstorm: +$550
Politciial Cartoons: +$1650 (very good fren barison)

CURRENT BUDGET: $6300 (+$1300 DAY 0)

WE MAKING PROFIT GANG

realicraft

I have more news!
Today's unimportant news:
TBGbook user TotallyNotABot has reached 1 follower.
Banana's oPhone V releases tomorrow.
Doors released a new minor update today.
Today's important news:
Recently, a coffee epidemic has occurred, due to the high number of 'coffee topics' in the online chat site, Text Based gChat. Researchers are trying to figure out why the topics have suddenly appeared, and who started it.
it sure is 43.250.142.151       tbgforums.com time, i think
ewow status: 1a has released yet; voting has ended
videos | FS3 | FS3 Wiki | Ratings | Calendar | Universe Manager 2 | Sandbox
65536 progress: ~13.08% @ 97d (0y 3m 5d) [03/18/2024] {8572/65536}



:P:|:o

Blunderbus

oH BOI I GOT ANOTHER WEATHER REPORT FOR YOU

(Weather forecast for Sep 27, 2018)

Looks like a hot front's coming through, it's gonna be a hecc of a lot hotter for a few days. Should be clear + sunny all day.
Minimum 24°, maximum 33° C.
Sun's going to rise at 6:27 AM, should set around 7:12 PM.
join Fragmented Future to RIDE A TRAIN! WOOOOOOO YEAH, TRAINS, BABY!