TBG Forums

See title.

Essentially you take a game you really like and make it sound like "wow, that sounds worse than Atari E.T.".
Probably best to only put one game per post but if they're related you can put multiple (just don't be too excessive).

Rate the one above you!


I'll start:

EarthBound
An RPG with an incredibly simplistic battle system, with a spike of difficulty at the start and next to nothing afterwards, all tied together with almost no real plot or development of the main characters to speak of.

7/10

Super Mario Odyssey
A subpar sandbox game with a very generic plot (as always). Way too easy to complete the story (practically for babies if Assist Mode is turned on), and there is no real incentive to collect moons afterward. Not to mention there are over 800 effortlessly-hidden moons to collect, making them more of a chore than an adventure to collect, and the fact that you can LITERALLY BUY MOONS WITH THE IN-GAME CURRENCY. Combine this with the currently-dying Luigi's Balloon World, an online mode that allows people to hide balloons inside walls because they think it's funny, and you've got yourself a 3D pile of garbage.

8.5/10

Team Fortress 2
For some reason, the community collectively decided that first person shooters are less about shooting in first person and more about hats.

6/10

Sonic the Hedgehog

A hedgehog goes on an adventure to stop a scientist from "roboticizing" the animals that live around him. Typical furry fare. If you collect 50 rings in a level, said hedgehog can jump into a big ring at the end, but you lose all your rings if you get hit, effectively giving you 2 hitpoints, because if you're hit with no rings, you lose a life. If you don't get into the big ring before the music ends, the hedgehog IGNORES the ring, and moves on to the next stage.

There are 6 Chaos Emeralds to collect, and 12 stages to get them on. You can get them by entering the special stages the big rings send you to. It's VERY hard to get the emeralds, because some of the tiles in the stage send you out before the level is finished. When you get an emerald, you move on to the next stage. And don't even think about getting into another special stage when you have all the emeralds. No, DON'T.

The regular levels are very difficult. On one, you're avoiding lava. On another, you're avoiding drowning, because apparently, hedgehogs can't swim. You can see how this goes.

All in all, DON'T PLAY THIS TRASH.

7/10 even though I don't play that

OpenTTD

This game is a dumb, stupid and ultra-unrealistic transport simulation game because apparently unloading a bus can take 5 days, and some trains can go faster than some airplanes. Also, sometimes cities/towns have dumb names like "Farthill". WOWWWWWWWW. And the AIs are dumb cheaters and can build SO QUICKLY!

NOT WORTH YOUR TIME!

7.5/10

Fire Emblem
Random crits.
Fire Emblem 2
Random crits.
Fire Emblem 3
Random crits.
Fire Emblem 4
Random crits.
Fire Emblem 5
Random crits.
Fire Emblem 6
Random crits.
Fire Emblem 7
Random crits.
Fire Emblem 8
Random crits.
Fire Emblem 9
Random crits.
Fire Emblem 10
Random crits.
Fire Emblem 11
Random crits.
Fire Emblem 12
Random crits.
Fire Emblem 13
Random crits.
Fire Emblem 14
Phoenix Mode

9/10

Fire Emblem Fates: Birthright
It basically just babies you with Phoenix mode, easy maps, and practically no strategy

8/10
Pokémon(all of them):
You are a 10 year old allowed to travel across the country with no adult supervision, and you are also allowed to attack other people's pets and take their money.

10/10

OpenTTD (again)

This game is a dumb, stupid and ultra-unrealistic transport simulation game because apparently unloading a bus can take 5 days, and some trains can go faster than some airplanes. Also, sometimes cities/towns have dumb names like "Farthill". WOWWWWWWWW. And the AIs are dumb cheaters and can build SO QUICKLY!

NOT WORTH YOUR TIME!

0/10 exact repeats


Text Based Games Forums
Incredibly outdated design, with a captcha and chat that don't work half the time, with only super simple games mostly based around just counting up until some arbitrary event happens. And if you want the website to look even remotely acceptable, you're gonna have to dig through all the weirdly named theme settings to find one that's bearable.

2.2/10

Scratch
Every project starts with this dumb meowing cat which is annoying and it is so stupid. It is offensive to me that the website is so silly.

11/10

Super Smash Bros. (Brawl to Ultimate)
You fight over this weird shiny ball.

6/10 (pretty sure the "weird shiny ball" wasn't introduced until Brawl but ok)

Roblox
Play as a box man with other box men. Games generally have badly designed interfaces or are just weird. There is no redeeming factor, unless you include that "oof" sound

oof / 10


Minecraft:
Hey, you! Yeah, you! You like Lego? Well now you can use Lego in a virtual world, except it's super hard to build things since you don't have free movement and you'll get constantly interrupted by random enemies that serve no real purpose other than to annoy you and ruin your builds.

creeper/10

Fortnite
Hey, you! Yeah, you! You like Minecraft? Well now you can use your building skills from Minecraft in Fortnite, expect you're in a battle royale Hunger Games against 99 other people which requires you to look out for weapons to shoot them down. Oh yeah and you still don't have free movement. Also the play area shrinks every couple of minutes.

9/10

Final Fantasy

grindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrind

8/10

Skullgirls

Everyone is better than you.

7/10

Super Smash Bros. Melee

Play as Fox (or Marth if you really want to), 1v1, 3 stocks, no items, Final Destination only. It's good if you know how to wavedash, L-cancel, dashdance all that good stuff, and make sure to have a Gamecube controller (this applies to any Smash game that isn't 64 by the way). If you are watching a Melee tournament, realise that they're constantly pulling off technqiues that exploit the game engine as the aforementioned wavedashing and L-cancelling. Despite this, you'll come to realise that high level Melee players are way better than you are.

7/10

Miitopia
So it's an RPG, but the developers didn't make heroes, so you need to do it yourself. They also didn't make NPCs, so you need to do that yourself. Or ask someone else to do it for you I guess. Anyways, there is a store to get gear from, but half of the time they scam you and just give you a piece of candy. The game also has this obsession with randomly restarting you from level 1. You also cannot control the characters, meaning that at several points, you get to watch helplessly as the heroes actively hinder and sabotage each other. Between battles, you can watch your favorite ships crash and burn, or you can experience these things called RNG, luck, and random chance.

10/10

Super Smash Bros Brawl

A game with an expansive list of fighters, except you can win by always just picking one person. Did I mention half the cast has massive problems countering him too?

7/10

Chess

A game with many pieces and you move them in confusing ways that contradict each other and you kill pieces and then you always get checkmated and then the game is no fun.

8/10

Checkers
A game with these dots that move around and eat each other in strange ways and it is not a strategy game, you could say.

10/10

Tetris

Placing ten blocks in a line has never been so hard before.

4/10

Minecraft
A game which tries to be realistic, but fails! For example, gravity is not simulated, and the ores look a bit creepy. Plus, in 2 seconds a creeper can blow up your nice house.

4/10

Dwarf Fortress

After you spend an hour combing through the manual and making decisions, you have to wait about 10-40 minutes before you can play again.

And then you get to start looking through the quickstart guide so you can play!

Did I mention it's literally impossible to win? Because it is.