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This TBG has been seen a million times, but I'm posting it anyway.

Find a way to take the cake from the last poster, and the more creative, the better.

I have the cake.

I teleport it to me.

I just take the cake.

I walk in, grab the cake, and walk out.

I grab you, and take the cake

I hire a ninja with super cow powers to steal the cake and give it to me.

I'll give you the cake if you know the reference

I get you, and put you on a plate, and eat you with a knife and fork.
And then I take the cake from the place you had been standing.

I run. (Hint: I'M THE CAKE!)

!!! !!!

I run after you. When I realize I cannot possibly catch you by running, I leap into Thrust SSC and chase after you at 763 mph and finally catch you (running at 762.999999999995 mph) and hide you in the closet.

I dig my way out using a silent mining drill that was in the closet.

I dig my way out using a silent mining drill that was in the closet.

I trip over you, find you, and nosh you.

I vanish before you get the chance to do so and teleport to the north pole.

I run halfway to the North Pole but get too tired, so I put on a bomb suit, then use Dynamite to push me to the North Pole, where I then take the cake and use Dynamite again to push me to China and lock you in a completely empty closet.

I transfer you to Portal 2 and take the cake from you and I come back, leaving you stranded.

You fail to realize that transporting the cake into Portal 2 made the cake disappear. I laugh at you.

I reappear in a box made of bedrock.

I go back to get a pick axe. I smash the box open. I grab you. You escape. You run. I run after you. I teleport myself next to you. I grab you again. I grab you and pull you in half. You run to find some glue, and after fixing yourself you run. I run after you. I blast you with fire. You are roasted. I cut you in half again. I eat one half. The other half runs away. I run after it and catch it. It runs away again. I follow it. By this time it is tired and cannot run any further. I catch it and put it in prison.

I break into the prison and use my duplicator to make a copy of the other half. I then combine it with the original half and put them together. I then join him and we chase after you, hit you with a tire iron, and take the cake.
You attack us trying to get the cake back, but I am on the cross country team and can run extremely quickly. While you scramble after us, we are much faster and get away. You give up and go back home, with no cake.

I come out of home and become part of the cross country team. I can now run as fast as you. I then blast into space with a shuttle. I throw a spike out of the shuttle. It lands on you and the cake. You and the cake are torn to pieces. I land the shuttle, next to the ruins of you and the cake. I go to find some glue. I find some glue. I fix the cake and put it in a box. I fix you and dig a 200 mile deep hole. I find a ladder. I put you at the bottom of the hole, and climb out. I then get the box in which is the cake. Meanwhile you are shouting for help, yet no one can hear you since you are 200 miles below ground. I put the box (and cake) in an unbreakable safe. I lock the safe. I go back home and lock the door so you cannot get the cake (or me).

You think that the spike lands on me, but it actually landed on a cardboard copy of me and the cake. So, you did all that with a cardboard copy of the cake, and I am actually sitting at the top of the FutureSight building, with the cake on the table in my office. I then find you and laugh at you for putting a cardboard copy of the cake in your safe.

I then run back to my office and see that the cake is still on the table, and I am sure to lock my door while I am in there.

You are sure to but you forget. I steal the cake.

i make a new cake and eat it

I become owner of Portal and take you and transport you in there. Now I have a cake, and all your cakes are a lie.

I beat you up.